~In Loving Memory of Thor Bishop~
The past couple of weeks have been the hardest in my entire life. On the morning of Tuesday October 9th, my love, my heart, my everything, passed away. Thor Bishop, 38 years old in real life, stopped breathing in His sleep due to complications with pneumonia. Stubborn as He was He wouldn't go to the doctor despite repeated begging from myself and family. "Its just a cold".
Thor was more than just my SL husband. He was my real life boyfriend. He was my entire world. He was and always will be my once in a lifetime. How does one go one when all of that is taken away? Trust me, I don't know. Every day is filled with tears, anger, sorrow, confusion. I'm lost without Him. There are so many things we wanted to do together. Together we experienced so many "firsts" for each of us, but there were many many more that we were looking forward to.
He is the only many to ever send me flowers. And not just holiday/birthday flowers, they were "just because I love you" flowers. He remembered all the important dates. He always remembered all the little things. He told me He loved me constantly, 20, 30, 40 times a day sometimes. It ALWAYS made me smile. I never got tired of hearing it. And what I wouldn't give to hear it just one more time. What I wouldn't give to tell Him I love Him just one more time. No one has ever made me feel as loved and as protected and wanted as He did. He was my best friend, my boyfriend, my confidant, my protector, and so much more.
Anyone who ever met Thor walked away with a smile. He had a way about Him that put people at ease and made them laugh. He poked fun at everyone and everything. No one was safe, not even Himself. And another thing that was never safe was an empty pose ball. Let a couple be dancing and the girl crash... LOL, I have so many pictures of Him cuddled up dancing with some poor unsuspecting guy. Well, not exactly unsuspecting. Anyone that knew Him knew to expect it. It was a joke amongst us all. And never.... ever dare Him to do something. Because you would loose. He would do it in a heartbeat. Didn't matter what. Whether it was singing an embarssing song, dressing like a girl, wearing a bikini. Didn't matter. Loud, obnoxious, crazy, funny, but oh so lovable. He would give the shirt off His back, if He was wearing one, to help His friends. He had a way of walking into a crowd and instantly commanding everyone's attention without even trying. He could diffuse a situation effortlessly with laughter. He was a bundle of mischevious energy. That little boy that everyone loved. He loved to play the badass, but everyone knew He was a softy inside. Yet He'd tell me "shhh baby, you'll ruin my reputation".
And what a reputation He had. He was a leader in the surf community, a pioneer. He was a master at His trade, that being a DJ. He was creative, thoughtful, insightful, articulate when He needed to be, even diplomatic. People would tease Him saying i was His better half. But the absolute truth of it is that HE was MY better half.
My biggest fear is that i may have failed to show Him how completely i loved Him. That He didn't really know how much He meant to me. That there was ever a moments doubt in His mind and heart. I pray each day that is not the case. That He did know. That i didn't fail Him. That the love i have for Him showed just as plainly as the love He had for me.
There are so many Thor stories i could share. So many memories over the course of a year and half, which is a lifetime in SL. So many plans we had for the future. Our relationship transcended SL. We did meet in RL and were planning a RL future together. And without Him i feel lost both in SL and RL. And while those stories may come a little at a time in the future, for now I will simply share a poem. Something special for Him, the absolute one and true love of my life.
Thor, Teddy, my bear... i love you now and always, for the rest of my life.
Somewhere the rain is falling down and I think of you
The pitter pat of droplets on a window pane
the rumble of thunder as lightening flashes
Life itself drinking in the refreshing heavenly tears
And as the rain falls down I think of you
Somewhere the wind blows through the trees and I dream of you
Whispering softly through the leaves
Flowers sway and dance to the cooling breeze
The breath of the heavens breathing life upon this place And the wind blows softly as I dream of you
Somewhere a bright star sparkles and I wish for you
The silence of night sheltering the earth
a thousand points of light dazzling a blanket of pitch Eternity twinkles allowing distance and time to see together And as a shooting star sparkles I wish for you.