The Sweet Life of Sierra Sugar

Openness, Honesty, and Faithfulness

2012-01-14T20:57:00.000-05:00

Faithfulness, Openness, and Honesty
One kitty's opinion of the values of friendships and deeper relaitonships.

Disclaimer: opinion only. This is how i feel and how i've always felt. i don't want negativity here, debates, arguments, etc... if you are an extremely closed and private person who doesn't like to share with anyone, that's fine. That works for you. These are just my thoughts and how i work.

Faithfulness, openness, and honesty. These are important qualities for any relationship, no matter the type. They build a foundation of trust and security. Sadly, it seems to me these are also qualities that many seem to have forgotten. No one is perfect. We all tell little white lies from time to time. But still, open honesty is always preferred over obscured omission. As the 80s love song says, "I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie". Perhaps my opinions and values are remnants from an older age. I admit I have some strong old-fashioned values when it comes to friendship and love, relationships and committment. Older values mixed with newer ones. This is just what is right and wrong for me, my life, and how I struggle with and build my various relationships.

Its hard though to find that line in today's world of perpetual connection on what should be shared in good faith and what is really no one else's business. Because of the internet, the news and paparazzi, cell phones, pda's, smart phones, and more and more advanced technology we begin to feel entitled to know everything. I think we all are guilty at one time or another of feeling that way. But human nature also instinctively defends our own sense of privacy.

"Drama" as the common term for it has become, happens when we act on that sense of entitlement that we need to know and be involved in everything, every minute detail of someone else's life, someone that is not necessarily a close and important connection in our lives. A casual aquaintence, casual friend, friend of a friend, co-worker, etc.. That we actually have a say and control, or some sort of opinion on their lives and activities we really do not. Its not the only reason for drama, but it certain seems to me anyway, that this sense of entitled knowledge and constant input *contributes* to the cause many times.

A bigger problem though, again in my opinion only, is less about drama, which usually involves a large number of people, but rather these conflicting mindsets of entitlement and privacy as they relate to very personal relationships. How much does one share with close friends? Significant others? Potential signifcant others? How much do you hide? Is it misleading to promise or show one thing, but really do another when no one is looking? If a tree falls in the forrest and no one is around does it really make a sound?

Relationships, all kinds, are built on trust. Trust is built from being open and honest. Lying is still lying, even if its just a lie by omission. When you enter someone's life and put them in a position of importance in your life, they deserve the respect of honesty, even if the truth may be painful and/or upsetting. Finding something out by mistake, even though the other person omitted the facts simply to spare feelings, always backfires and ends up hurting more. You may feel that some actions are not for the general public, and this is true.

However, when you place someone in your life into a greater personal or intimate position, the fact is they do deserve to know more information. The higher the elevated status and perceived sense of importance in each other's lives (from friend, to close friend, to casual dating, to potential significant other, to significant other), so is the need for more openness and honesty. If you can't trust them with that, then they should not be given elevated status in your life because ultimately you will hurt them. If you're not willing to be open and at times almost brutally honest, you will never build that sense of trust that is demanded for a stable relationship. And if you're not willing to listen and hear, and protect that bond of trust, then you should not allow yourself to be placed in such a position.

It is a sacrifice both parties must make. Honesty is not always easy to give, we are divuldging bits and pieces of our lives and ourselves to another person. We run the risk of being judged, ridiculed, and rejected. Neither is hontesty always easy to take. Somethings we don't want to hear, not because we don't want to hear them but because we simply want them to be different. But you have to be open to hear these truths and acknowledge how much less painful they are hearing them first hand rather than finding out by accident some other way.

The closer you are with someone, the more you let each other in, the more intuitive each becomes regarding the other. When friends or couples say things at the same time, feel each other's pains or joy from a distance, complete each other's sentences, these are all signs of a greater connection. Remember that. Respect that. Don't lie to or hide things from these people who share this connection with you because they will know it, and will be hurt by it, and the trust will falter.

Remember communication is more than just words, its actions, expressions, and even silence too. Be conscious of what you are communicating and how it can and will effect those you care about.

Humans are selfish by nature, but if you care about someone then you must be considerate of them. You have to be open and willing to share even those things that may hurt you or them. Becuase trust me, a little pain or shame now is so much easier to recover from than the magnitude of hurt and anger if you hide certain truths and they are found out down the road.

Don't make someone feel like they are a priority or important to you when they really are not. Don't TELL them they are important to you and then do things that show them they are not. Actions speak louder than words. And even if you think you are hiding your actions well, trust me not as well as you think. The truth always comes out.

There are many different relationship constructs. If you have multiple people of similar importance in your life, be sure they atleast know there are others, and maybe even know each other. This is especially true for close, intimate type relationships, not so much casual friendships. Don't make someone feel like or tell them they are the only one, when they are not. Again, honesty wins. Don't sneak and hide.

Don't make promises you can't or won't keep.

Implied promises are still promises. Be careful what you say and how you say it.

Don't say something that isn't true.

I guess what it all boils down to is the age-old golden rule of "do unto others"; because trust once lost is incredibly difficult to build back. If someone is important to you, endevour every day to make them feel that way. Never let them have doubt or feel ignored.

~sierra

Tameless

2012-01-09T11:35:00.003-05:00

Tamless collection, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Timeless. Beautiful. Classy.

Tameless Hair Collection created by Nita Braken are all of these and more. Each style is expertly executed with a sense of elegance and character. Normally, I have not been one to wear short hair styles, especially not short straight hair styles; however the Tameless collection has won me over. Her styles are fast becoming some of my standard go-to hair when picking out an outfit.

The featured styles (listed below) are scripted for 28 color change options, and include streak coloring options, and hat/ribbon color change options. The hairstyles also come in singular colors with streak options if you wish not to have the "Megapack" style that includes all colors.

Tameless always features new hairstyles and/or avatars for sale for the first week after release:
4 color packs are normally priced at $199L: sale price during first week of release is $99L
Megapack including all colors are priced at $799L: sale price during first week of release is $399L.
Complete Avatars are priced at $499 in shop: sale price during first week of release is $399L.

All avatars are listed on the Marketplace at an ongoing reduced price of $399L.

The skin is also a new one for me from the store Mojo. The features make the face seem a little more round and softer, which I adore. The lips are pouty but not too puffy, and the overall shading throughout the skin is subtle and feminine. Freckle tattoo and makeup layers are listed below as well.

Shopping List:
Tameless Hair Collection:
(left to right)
Nadine
Charlotte
Mindi
Jolene
Norine

Skin: MOJO//ALBA EVO// 08-MILK
Eyes: Poetic Colors - Poison Ivy
Freckles: L. Fauna - Pale (tattoo layer)
Makeup: Glamorize - Dance (eyes tattoo)
Lashes: **Irresistible Look Eyelashes** (alpha lashes)

~sierra

Ozimals Winter Wonderland

2011-12-16T15:01:00.000-05:00

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "yoo hoo",
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you.

Its that time of year where the snow is on the ground, a chill is in the air, the fireplace is glowing, and good cheer is all around, especially down at Ozimals! Come join everyone at Ozimals, the bunnies, and the new Pufflings for their annual Holiday Celebrations. Ozimals has created a beautiful winter wonderland to frolic and play. There will be sledding, ice skating, holiday music and as always, special themed prizes from the folks at Ozimals for each of the parties.

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Date: Sunday, December 18
Time: 1-3 pm SLT
Location: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ozimals%20Orientation/213/149/23
Theme: Winter Wonderland with Sledding, IceSkating and Holiday music provided by Sierra Sugar

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling! Its that time of year to frolic in the snow, indulge in Hot Chocolate, kiss under the mistletoe, and celebrate the season in Ozimals style. Come join us for the Winter Wonderland Party complete with Ice Skating and Holiday music provided by Sierra Sugar.

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Date: Thursday, December 22
Time: 5-7pm SLT
Location: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ozimals%20Orientation/213/149/23
Theme: Holiday Ball with Best Dressed Contest

Ozimals is celebrating the season with a festive formal Holiday Ball. Music provided by DJ Sierra Sugar. Best dressed contest with prizes.

When it snows

2011-12-15T14:47:00.002-05:00

BDR Snowflake, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

We all have those times in our lives when the sun is shining and everything seems perfect. But we would never really understand the warmth of the sun if we never felt the chill of snow. You have to have those days, you know the ones, when the sun seems to be struggling behind the clouds. And our moods, in fact life itself, seems to mimic the long cold shadows that are cast around us, and we shiver a little inside. The world and our direction seems blurred by the flurry of snow and confusion. For everyone who goes through these times, remember to bundle up and look forward on your path, there on the horizon are brighter, warmer days. I promise, they are coming. You might just have to walk a little in the cold. But doing so will make you appreciate that warmth so much more when you finally do reach it.

Sweater Dress: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Snowflake Dress
Stockings: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Snowflake
Boots: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Snowflake

**Hair: Tameless Nadine - White w/ Silver Streak**
ears: [rQ]kiTTenEar~STERLING/ONYX (/woTWITCH)
Skin: .ploom. Lea_Vanilla - LB - Snow Kitten (Advent Calender event gift)
Eyes: FDM Alive Eyes - Grey
Freckles: L.Fauna EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan]
Eyebrows: :GP: Sweetheart Brows-Blonde
Tail: Psychotic Neko - Extreme Corset Tail ***
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Nails: Mstyle Long Nails Snow_French

Darkroom Photo Editor - Pixlr

2011-11-24T14:58:00.002-05:00

I love plurk! There are so many amazing people on plurk and they are always sharing pictures, ideas, and just about anything you can imagine. Today a link to a fun program was shared and I feel like Christmas came early!

Pixlr is a free web-based photo darkroom editor that adds old-fashion film darkroom processing effects, overlays, and boarders to images. Its incredibly powerful, streamlined, and yet simply and fast to use. Needless to say I. Am. In love!

Oh! It gets better. Did I mention that it is also available to DOWNLOAD and use free on your computer, iphone, or android phone? Oh yes!

Wait.

Wait!

And there is still more. (Do I sound like an infomercial yet?) There is also a free web-based graphics program you can use for regular photo editing. Its much like GIMP or Photoshop. The controls are almost exactly like Photoshop. It too is insanely easy to use. I forsee this program getting LOTS of use by me in the near and far future.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Honey, I'm Home

2011-11-23T20:38:00.000-05:00

Honey, I'm Home! Pumpkin Cottage, created by Harlow Heslop. See full post and credits here!

~sierra

Greenscreen Removal Tutorial

2011-11-22T18:35:00.002-05:00

For anything you want to do in Photoshop there are a dozen ways to do them. Greenscreen removal is no exception. If you're lucky enough to have a program like Mask Pro by On One, it will do the job nicely with just a few clicks. However, those programs can be expensive, and with just a few extra steps you can do the removal and clean up yourself. This is a method I picked up from a tutorial originally written by Ryker Beck on the old Rezzable website back in 2009 (thank you 1Angel for locating the source since my memory and HD wipe failed). However, this method continues to work well for me when I'm not using Mask Pro. If you have other methods you've found that work well for you please do share them in the comments area. I am by no means an expert in Photoshop. I'm self taught and am always looking for new/easier/better ways to do any given task.

"Greenscreen" is a generic term for any picture where the subject is photographed in front of a solid, bright/neon, primary color. Neon lime green tends to be the most commonly used, however a bright electric blue or hot pink (or any similar striking color) works as well. In Second Life the "Greenscreen" is created using a solid colored prim set to full bright as the background.

For this tutorial I am using an older greenscreen picture taken before my new graphics card, so many of the edges are not as clean as they would be with a higher end graphics card. However it still works for the purpose of this tutorial.

1. Start with your picture. You can see the solid green background, as well as a variety of colors and transparency levels in the image.

Duplicate the background layer. Select the top copy layer and then click on the eye on the original background layer to hide it.

2. Next from your menus at the top of your screen go to Select > Color Range > choose 'Selection'. Your cursor will turn into an eye dropper and just click anywhere on the background where the green would be. Check the Invert box, then ok. You'll notice the marching ants around your image.

3. Copy your selection using ctrl + c. Make a new layer, then paste your copied selection using ctrl + p onto the new Layer 1. At this point I also hide the background copy.

4. You'll notice on the new layer the semi-transparent areas still have green. Always start by working with the semi-transparent areas that have color, and then move to areas that are black and/or white.

5. Ctrl click on the Layer 1 thumbnail to select the entire image. You'll see the marching ants around the outline again. Create a new blank layer on top of Layer 1. Change the new layer (Layer 2) to Color. Go to your eyedropper tool and select a color from Layer 1 that is next to the green that you want to replace. In this case I have a few areas of red in the hair, tan, yellow, blue on the wings, and brown that still have a green edge to them. One by one I select each color sample from the base image, choose my paintbrush tool, a small soft brush and 100% opacity, and paint along the edge. You'll see the green gets covered up with the selected color.

6. After you've painted away the green in all the color zones (leaving only the semi-transparent areas that are either black or white) you can merge your top color layer 2 with the base layer 1. At this point you can use deselect to remove the marching ants outline.

7. Now we want to remove the green from the semi-transparent black and/or white areas. Go to Image > Adjustments > Hue/Saturation. From the drop down box select "Greens". Move your Saturation slider all the way to the left. If you are working with black, move the Lightness slider all the way to the left. If you are working with white, move the lightness slider all the way to the right. Click ok.

8. And there you have your image completely extracted from the Green Screen and ready for any other work you need to do on it in Photoshop. I always create a new layer below the final image and use the paint bucket tool to make it solid black or white to check my image and make sure all the green was removed and I didn't miss any spots.

Creatures of the Night

2011-11-12T18:59:00.004-05:00

She Demon, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Halloween may be over, but creatures of the night never walk by any calender. This is the full Halloween costume that went with the "Something Wicked This Way Comes" post. I meant to put them out back to back, but real life got a hold of me and wouldn't let go.

It's not often that I take off my kitty ears and tail, but Sinfull makes some amazing demon-type accessories! The silks I've had for a couple years now and work perfectly with this look. I used a bit of selective coloring in Photoshop to bring out the color of the moon and the Succubus eyes by FDM. The ballet boots (I've been told they have become my signature look. People question me in clubs when i don't have them on) are a set from *Kas* and are sculpted with alpha layers and HUD control.

Shopping List:

Silks of the Siren: Darknesses Silks
Boots: *KaS*BalletBoots

Skin: Nomine Aether - Latte
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Ahiga Hair - Silver
Eyes: FDM-Alive-Succubus-L-Light
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01

Shape: Custom made by me

Horns: Sinfull Aaryanna horns Black
Wings: ::{Favole}:: Entangled *Version 3*
Tail: Sinfull Chained black tail
Gloves: ELEMENTAL glowing electric hands +Fallen Gods Inc.+ PITCH BLACK

Pose: [LAP]

"Something Wicked This Way Comes"

2011-10-26T23:36:00.003-04:00

Carnival Street, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Old Europe Village is a quaint old-world place with little town shops lining the cobblestone streets. At its center is a town square hosting the annual Hallow's Eve Carnival. There are lots of hidden treasures to explore from dancing in the fog-covered graveyard, to riding the skull ferris wheel, a haunted tunnel of love ride, and even a haunted house guarded by zombies. Old Europe Village changes with the seasons, so be sure to catch the carnival while it's still in town.

And you thought the post was going to end there? C'mon, you know me better than that by now...

So its Halloween time and I've had a quote from my favorite movie in my head for some time. It's what inspired this post. Ray Bradbury wrote the book "Something Wicked This Way Comes" and Disney turned it into a movie in 1983. While many know the quote, few are familiar with its interesting history.

Shakespeare is actually the original creator of part of the known phrase. It derives from Macbeth, a line spoken by the second witch in reference to Macbeth himself. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow contributed to part of the rhyme borrowed from his "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day". And Mr. Ray Bradbury put it all together in his wonderful little story of a twist of fate spoken by the character Mr. Dark. And without further ado:

"By the pricking of my thumbs,

something wicked this way comes.

Then toll the bells both loud and deep,

God is not dead, nor doth he sleep.

The wrong will fail, the right prevail,
With peace on Earth, good will toward men"

"Ill winds mark its fearsome flight,
and autumn branches creak with fright.
The landscape turns to ashen crumbs,
when something wicked this way comes.

Crystal water turns to dark,
where e'er its presence leaves its mark,
and boiling currents pound like drums,
when something wicked this way comes.

A presence dark invades the fair,
and gives the horses ample scare,
for chaos reigns and panic numbs,
when something wicked this way comes."


Something Wicked This Way Comes

Shopping List:

Skin: Nomine Aether - Latte
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Ahiga Hair - Silver
Eyes: FDM-Alive-Succubus-L-Light
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01

Horns: Sinfull Aaryanna horns Black
Wings: ::{Favole}:: Entangled *Version 3*
Tail: Chained black tail stomach attach
Gloves: ELEMENTAL glowing electric hands +Fallen Gods Inc.+ PITCH BLACK

Filters, Fashion, and Fall

2011-10-24T21:21:00.004-04:00

The above picture was taken using the FilterCam HUD and a bit of post production work in Photoshop.

Below you can see the raw picture, no Photoshop work aside from cropping.
All pictures in full size at my Flickr

Thanks to the wonderful Codebastard Redgrave, loving "Codie", and her FilterCam2 HUD

for purchase and use inside Second Life (or on the Marketplace), everyone has the ability

to take amazing pictures even if you don't have or aren't very skilled (yet) in Photoshop.

FilterCam2 is a HUD loaded with various textures.

You attach it to the center HUD position on your screen and take pictures.

Its just that easy.

There are shaded effects, frames, keyholes, splatter effects, scope effects,

and many more, close to 150.

The HUD allows layering of effects up to 4 layers, so your creativity is endless. FilterCam main version updates are included with the price of purchase, meaning free upgrades forever. Expansion packs are purchased separately and are very reasonably priced.

Below, I have included several other pictures from today,

both pre and post Photoshop production.

Shopping list included below pictures. Happy picture taking everyone!

Trypic Filter post production

Trypic Filter raw image

Polaroid Filter raw image Polaroid Filter post production

Happy Halloween everyone!

The outfit I'm wearing is by the amazing Annejoy Paine of aDiva.

The hair is from Battle Angel.

And the eyes, oh those amazing eyes, are from the recently featured

FDM Alive Eyes by Aymeric Pelazzi, Silver Medium size, Light.

Shopping List:

Sweater: aDiva couture Tyler Sweater Blue
Jeans: aDiva couture Tyler Half Jeans Cuff L Leg
Boots: Maitreya Gold Shearling Boots
Socks: [ROCKBERRY] Knit Socks Blue/Socks

Skin: .ILLUSORY. Skin_Paige_Fair - Stained A1 (LBF)
Eyes: FDM-Alive-Silver-M-Light
Hair: Vera White Blonde *Battle Angel* JFFH
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Freckles: L.Fauna EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan]
Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear (rebranded to Somnia)

Codebastard Redgrave FilterCam v2 + new expansion pack

New Trails 2 prim Autumn Trees
New Trails sculpted pumpkins and vines

The Eyes are Alive

2011-10-16T14:38:00.004-04:00

Fleur du Mâle ALIVE Eyes

by Aymeric Pelazzi

When I first got these eyes I had this idea of something fantasy and whimsical. But what seems good in theory often doesn't work in reality. Above all else I wanted to emphasize these eyes, so that is exactly what I decided to do. But never fear, I will be back to my story-telling days quite soon and expect to see these eyes in all their various colors show up regularly in my story posts. Now on to the good stuff.

Aymeric Pelazzi is a real-life graphic artist and new designer in Second Life. His first release are these amazing Alive Eyes. Over the years I have bought many eyes but ended up wearing very few as they always looked better in the vendor than on my AV. These however, look just as good on your AV if not better than the vendor ad (and certainly better than my picture taking ability).

At $49L per color, you are getting an exceptional value with Alive Eyes. There is both a Drake set (with the vertical pupils pictured here) and the Original set with natural pupils. They come in 12 eye-catching colors, as well as minute details in both the iris and the whites of the eyes to give them an enhanced realistic look. Each color come with 3 different sized irises, and each iris size comes in a light, medium, or darker tone, for a total of 9 eyes. Additionally, there is a prim attachment for each eye scripted with a very faint light and texture movement to simulate how light naturally reflects off the eyes. The Drake eyes are great for nekos, furries, demons, dragons, vampires, or any other fantasy role-play.

Catch Aymeric Pelazzi today at the Moumou’s Square’s Official Inauguration, from 12noon - 2pm SLT. Along with Aymeric's gallery there are gardens, stores, live singers, and a mini-hunt for the grand opening celebration. And while you're there be sure to grab a pair of eyes. You can also find his items on the Marketplace.

Caught in the act

2011-10-12T02:54:00.004-04:00

Sunflower Fae, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Never before seen, this Sunflower Faerie was caught on camera planting a seed. Both the fae and photographer were equally surprised by their mutual discovery, causing that moment of startled indecision. Sadly only this single still image was captured. As soon as she realized she was spotted the fussy little fae buzzed around the camera holder furiously then flew off.

Most humans are clueless and don't realize that while the world is settling down for a relaxing evening, the fae are busy in hidden places making the world a beautiful place. So the next time you're sitting on your porch sipping your iced-cold tea and watching the sun set, see if your eyes can spot one of these busy little creatures at work. Just make sure you don't let them know you see, because as cute as they appear they aren't always so cuddly.

Pose: eMOTIONS by *SKC* - Planting Seeds

Top: *IW* Eireen Sunflower Top
Pants: *IW* Eireen Sunflower Pants
Belt: *IW* Eireen Sunflower Belt
Hat: *IW* Eireen Sunflower Hat
Skirts: *IW* Eireen Sunflower Skirt
Anklets: Evie's Closet - Ariel
Circlet: Evie's Closte - Ariel
Necklace: *GF* Sunflower Choker

Skin: .ILLUSORY. Skin_Paige_Light - Stained A1 (LBF)
Hair: Vera Blonde Angel *Battle Angel* JFFH
Eyes: poetic colors - cat eyes (white) - preview
Freckles: L.Fauna EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan]
Wilted Elf Ears: .ILLUSORY. Elven Ear - a1
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Nails: [ Love Soul ] Prim nails+Ring*Sunflower*
Feet: [AL] Promo Bare Tip Toe Foot

Steampunk the Bird (aka, Happy Rez Day Maxwell Graf)

2011-10-09T22:18:00.005-04:00

A faint breeze drifted through the partially opened window carrying in the smells and sounds of the not-so-distant port. The over-sized brass hinges held the weight of the heavy stained-glass pane of abstract design. The sunlight, finished with its game of chase with the clouds, fell upon the window and a cornucopia of color burst through breaking the dusty haze of the workshop, and caused the man inside to lift his head.

Perhaps this was the first time since his day began that he found his mind no longer focused on his never-ending work, only the man himself knew. His concentration broken, he gazed around allowing his eyes to fleetingly acknowledge each of his creations then move on to another. Some were finished, many others in various stages of completeness. All crafted with genuine passion for his trade and a tender touch that comes only from one who’s work becomes so much more to them than a mere means to earn a daily copper.

His eyes focused on the open window just as a breeze picked up and ruffled his mussed dark hair. He sighed softly as the same breeze cooled his skin. Then he heard it, the faint clack-clack whir, clack-clack whir. A repetitive sound, rhythmic, faint but seemed to be slowly intensifying in volume. Somewhere beyond he could hear the earthy cry of the gulls to the men on the wharf for a bit of food. He could hear the sharp snap of sails being pulled quickly to attention from a gust of wind. And even could hear the deeper sounds that were more thump than clack that the large corkscrew airships made as they hovered above the docks.

But there rising above all the din and bustle of the port was the clack-clack whir, clack-clack whir, and yes it was indeed getting louder. The man removed his half-moon, brass-rimmed glasses then pinched his soft wool shirt around the glass in an attempt to wipe away the dusty splotches that accumulated while he worked. When he placed them back on the bridge of his nose he gave a resigned smirk that for all his efforts, they were still dirty, however the splotches had become smudges. Tonight he’d have to wash them in the basin.

The clack-clack whir, was quite distinct and audible now, and seemed to be approaching the half-opened window. The man maneuvered around various desks and piles of work and stepped to the window to see if he could locate the source of this noisy interruption. Just as he fully opened the second pane of glass a gust of wind blew itself in ruffling his hair more and he heard several sheets of parchment take flight landing against a wall or floor behind him. Then he saw it. The little brass flyer as it mightily flapped its wings and made a bee-line for the window.

He stepped back in wonder and surprise at the flyer with its brass wings ablaze in warm colors from the late-afternoon sun. Clack-clack whir, clack-clack whir, he heard again and again until the little flyer was hovering, rather noisily, above the windowsill. There was a longer whir as the wings retracted and a slight clatter when the minuet flyer landed on the sill with its little brass feet. Much to the man’s amazement its movements were more delicate than normally seen by mechanical contraption, and such the clackity bird placed on the sill a glass-blown yellow rose with intricately crafted brass leaves.

The tiny, wondrous flyer then began a bell-clear chirping as it shook one of its legs at the man. There was a miniature scroll attached with coarse hemp binding to the little flyer's leg and he wanted it off. A single tug unraveled the bow, and the scroll rolled to the window where the man scooped it up before the wind could catch it. Opening the scroll, the man read with a smile.

Dear Maxwell Sir,

As you labor away through your various works and projects, remember to take a moment to catch a breeze, hear the birds sing, appreciate the small things, and smile at the beauty of the day. Today is your day, a mile-marker to be celebrated (or not) as you see fit. Peace and prosperity be with you my friend, as well as happiness beyond measure.

The little bird sang with its bell-like chirps once more then leapt from the sill taking flight back towards the way it had traveled. The man stood quietly, watched and listened as the clack-clack whir faded into the silence of the approaching night and smiled.

[Just a fun post to wish Maxwell Graf, the creator of Rustica, a happy 5th Rez Day in Second Life. His works to improve sculpt maps as well as pushing towards a better, more usable Mesh are appreciated by many throughout SL. Thank you, Max, and very happy rez day!]

Sunshine on my Shoulders

2011-10-06T20:59:00.003-04:00

Autumn, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

(Pose brought to you by !Bang)

Fall is such a beautiful time of year to me. It means change. The golds, the reds, and sometimes purples are so colorful and vivid. They invoke that feeling of hope. Its a time of reflection and to find some inner peace. Days grow shorter as the air become crisp and cool. And through it all the sunshine filters through inviting us to bask in its glow.

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry.
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always makes me high."

Location:

Alirium - Beautiful sim with different levels to explore the seasons.
maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/alirium/76/117/21

Shopping List:

Pose: !Bang - Girl set 150-159, stand #152

Shirt: .: Somnia :. Striped Queen {Fall} {J}
Skirt: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Frozen Plain Skirt: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Frozen
Socks: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Frozen
Boots: SEY Layer's boots[D](Black,fur)

Skin: *League* Sia Fair Champagne -Frex -Cleavage
Freckles: L.Fauna EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan]
Hair: *~*Damselfly*
Eyes: pc eyes by LL - poison ivy - medium
Eye Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Nails: Mstyle Short Nails - FRENCH - (20)
Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear
Tail: Psychotic Neko Extreme Corset Tail ***

Life - The Greatest Show on Earth

2011-10-06T05:38:00.002-04:00

Too Bright, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Tiny steps echo across a wooden floor and come to a stop.
There is a moment of silence and then the lights come up.

"Over here. No, down a little. There ya go! Kitty center stage.

They say all the world's a stage.
And I say, Forget Barnum and Bailey's, this is it folks. This is the greatest show on Earth, and we're living it.
Except there is no dress rehersal, no retakes, and no scenes left laying on an editing room floor.
Life, is live-action in real time with no commercial breaks.
Everyone has a role, and there is no part too big or too small. Every moment is a vital scene that you alone complete.
So while that spotlight is on you, give it your best, all that you've got. Because you never who's watching and who's heart you might touch, mind you might inspire, or soul you might comfort.
We've only got one chance while the camera is rolling, cause once it stops...
...the rest is silence. "

stage lights fade to black as house lights shine on the rest of the world.

(c) sierra sugar 10/6/2006

Post partially inspired by the tremendous loss of an inspirational man, Steve Jobs, and partially inspired by personal loss in my life.

NEW POSE FROM eMOTIONS - "In the Spotlight" set, "Too Bright"

Skin:[rQ]Pale@TYPE.o4-B.o2 (lightBROW)
Hair: *~*Damselfly*~*Etta II White Pearl
Nails:[ Love Soul ] Prim nails+Ring*baby doll*Silver
Ears:*Dreams* (aka Somnia) Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear
Tail: PN Extreme Corset neko tail
Shirt: A Netherworld - Incantation Corset - Black (J)
Pants: Zaara : Ishaya Velour slacks *black
Necklace:Kunstkammer String of Tahitian Pearls (black)
Bracelet:Kunstkammer Tahitian Pearl Bracelet
Pose: eMOTIONS - "In the Spotlight" set, "Too Bright"

In the Spotlight ad

2011-10-05T21:04:00.003-04:00

In the Spotlight ad, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

"In the Spotlight" - new pose set out at eMOTIONS. 5 cute poses for the ones who enjoy being in the spotlight, and even those who do not.

Pose set includes:

Oh stop!
Too bright
TADA! Here I is!
Oh geeze
I'll be leaving nao.

Poses found at eMOTIONS mainstore on JJ Lanes. Can be purchased individually (copy only) or the full set of 5 (either copy OR trans)

The leaves are falling and so are the prices at eMOTIONS. As mentioned earlier, I'm cleaning up shop to make room for newness to come.

eMOTIONS Main Store:

-Everything 50% or more.
-PRO POSERS - if you are a part of this group, you get an additional 25% off from poses in the hippo vendors. Just wear your PRO POSER group tag.
-Many older poses for couples now boxed up (not in vendors) priced at 50L
-Lots of singles poses added to the dollarbie and lowbie vendors.
-"In the Spotlight" - Brand new girls pose set out now in vendor.
-Many items are now copy only in the store, but you can purchase as a gift from the -Marketplace (items on sale there too).

eMOTIONS @ Magic of Oz:

-All poses on Sale 1/2 off!!
-Exclusive poses only found at the Magic of Oz location.
-Special bunny cuddle pillows (menu driven) and cute bunny slippers only @ Magic of Oz location.

"A Gift for Everyone"

Still looking for all stores (not just poses or fashion) who will have +transfer items, gift cards, and gatchas for the holiday shopping season.

eMOTIONS 1/2 off Sale at Magic of Oz

2011-10-04T01:19:00.001-04:00

It's been a while since I've done any updates at either location. But new stuff is on the way. Time to start clearing out some of the old stuff to make room for new.

This week at the eMOTIONS annex location at Magic of Oz everything is 1/2 off. Also, there is a new super cute bunny pillow with singles and couples poses (menu driven). And don't forget to find the matching little bunny slippers in either red or blue.

Coming soon to eMOTIONS main store - more discounts, sales, and new items, including lots of dollarbies and lowbies

Also, its time to start gearing up for the holidays. I will continue the "A Gift for Everyone" project again this year. If you're not familiar with this project, please read about it here and spread the word.

Happy posing everyone.

~sierra sugar

eMOTIONS by *SKC*
Real life emotions 4 your Second Life.

Time for Project "A Gift for Everyone" 2011

2011-10-01T06:24:00.002-04:00

Hello and happy early seasons greetings!

The holiday season is approaching and we all like to give & get gifts, Last year I compiled a list of stores in SL that offer gift cards and/or +transfer items. Its now time to update the website with new stores and landmarks. If you have a store yourself, or know of one that offers either gift cards or +transfer items (buy now as a gift doesn't count) please create a notecard in world and named:

"A Gift For Everyone" - Store Name - Your Name
and send to me (Sierra Sugar) with the following information:

store name:
shopping category:
Do you have +Trans items or Gift Cards?:
SLurl (or include a LM)
blog/website:
Flickr:

What does this mean for you as a shop owner? Specific traffic and potentially increased traffic directed to your store during the holiday shopping season.

Please do pass this notecard around to others. The more responses I get, the more comprehensive the list will be.

I will make a notecard of these stores to be passed around in plenty of time for shopping, as well as sending out the list via various group notices. The list will be heavily promoted through various avenues and also be updated/maintained on my blog.

Thank you so much for your time and help. .

~sierra sugar

http://sierrasugar.blogspot.com/
http://www.plurk.com/SierraSugar

*** If you participated last year and still qualify for the list, please return this notecard to me so I know to keep you. Many shops sadly come and go in SL and I would like to make sure every store name, location, and category is as accurate as possible.

---------Answers to FAQs----------

1. I am aware the Marketplace allows for almost all items to be bought as a gift and sent directly to someone. This will be mentioned on the website as well. However, "A Gift for Everyone" project is about being able to put a gift under a christmas tree, in a stocking, or simply wrap it up in a pretty decorative container (or just in a folder) and present it the person yourself at a specific day/time. Just like we do in real life for holidays and birthdays,

2. I am aware that breedable pets are all +transfer. These stores and their pets will be listed as well.

3. Gatchas are new this year. If you have a Gatcha or know of a Gatcha please include this information since all Gatcha items are +Transfer.

4. "Buy as a gift" vendors in stores are not what I am looking for. Again, its the ability to be the gift giver, not have an item delivered instantly to someone. "Now" may not be their birthday or anniversary.

5. I do recognize and understand the reason many items are no transfer. This project is in no way meant to be negative in any context to content creators who do not have items that have transfer permissions.

6. This project is about sharing. Sharing creations. Sharing gifts. Sharing information. Please feel free to pass this notecard along to anyone who has a store. And once the list is created, the in-world notecard list of stores will be of course +transfer for Second Life residents to share with one another.

7. Yes I am open to suggestions on other ways to share this information with people. Please feel free to IM me or send a notecard with questions or comments anytime.

8. You can take a look at last year's list here: http://sierrasugar.blogspot.com/2010/12/gift-for-everyone.html

9. The website contains a list of stores by category, then alphabetically by name, then SLURL to the store, and whether the store carried +Transfer items, Gift Cards, or both, as well as a blog and/or Flickr if the store/designer lists one.

10. I will continue to update this page and advertised through various means through the holidays.

Death by Blurple

2011-09-28T01:52:00.002-04:00

Death by Blurple, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Yeah, we've all been there. Total death by blurple!

Somewhere in the mid-100s of the Fall 2011 Twisted Hunt. Beautifully twisted sim decorated with haunted forest, dead grasses, circling birds, windlight settings, fog, and a tree to hang yourself for a bit of a rest.

Location: #136 Filthy Things: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Froien/32/96/2

Skin: *League* Sia Fair Smoky -Frex-Cleavage
Hair: Magika - Poof (B&W: White)
Dress: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Destruction (Blue)
Boots: (SP) Diabolo Boots

Lovely in Latex

2011-09-16T18:58:00.003-04:00

B&W Latex Graves, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Join me every Friday Night @ 6pm - 8pm SLT for a Rock Party and Latex event with DJ Sierra Sugar @ Studio 777. Contest prizes each Friday include 500L + a 500L gift card to Kayliwulf Latex on each board (girls and guys). Bring me your requests and be prepared to ROCK!

Skin: redQueen - [rQ]Pale@TYPE.o4-hairBASE-B.o2 (lightBROW)
Hair: Magika // B&W Pack // Sofia
Eyes: Poetic Color - pc eyes by LL - poison ivy - medium
Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear 1.2
Tail: Psychotic Neko - PN Extreme Corset neko tail
Top, belt, skirt: Graves G195 Hydra Dress - White
Undershirt & underpants layers: Graves - G05 3 Transparent Catsuits - Medium
Cyber Face Com: + ezura + DIGI Cyber Latex ex-11-03
Boots: Kojima Industries @ Fairlight - [KI] K-103 Hardsuit Boots - Stealth
Ears: *Dreams*
Tattoo: Eternal Misfit by *SKC*

The Beautiful Truth about Truth

2011-09-15T23:56:00.005-04:00

Truth about Truth, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Truth...

In the fashion world of Second Life the name Truth is synonymous with quality hair. The hair has been blogged several hundred times over the past couple years, but what isn't mentioned as frequently is the man behind the design: Truth Hawks.

No matter how perfect your product may be, if you fall short in the customer service department your profits will reflect that. Mr. Truth Hawks, however, has nothing to fear! Despite being exceptionally busy designing new hairstyles, photographing them, listing them in world and on the marketplace, as well as sorting through a surely mountainous pile of note cards and IMs, the man still has time to respond to his clientele.

Previously, I had purchased two beautiful new release hairstyles in the Black & White pack that contained a pure white color "Pearl" that I fell completely in love with. I later returned to the store to purchase some of my favorite styles (that I already owned in Reds) in the Black & Whites pack for this "Pearl" color. However, much to one little kitty's sadness, after returning home and unpacking my purchase, I realized the "Pearl" was not included in these older styles.

I hemmed and hawed, procrastinated, and chewed my lips and eventually gave in and sent Mr. Hawks a note card asking if this "Pearl" color was a one-time coloring for special hair, or only available with newer hair-styles? I didn't even really expect a reply much less the degree of customer service received.

Mr. Hawks graciously answered my note card stating the color was new and he hadn't as of yet recolored the older hairstyles to include this new "Pearl". He stated he would recolor with Pearl the two styles that I purchased recently and send them to me. I thanked him profusely for his time and effort, and offered to pay extra for this, to which he declined.

I didn't have a time table. I new he was busy, so I didn't worry about it any more. I just knew that I could find this gloriously beautiful Pearl in all his new styles and that was more than enough for me. A week later I received an offline from Mr. Hawks apologizing to me for not getting to the recoloring sooner, but that he was trying to add in the Pearl color to older hairstyles and update vendors. Instead he refunded my payment for the two styles that did not include the Pearl!!! This goes FAR beyond standard customer service. I would NEVER ask for a refund of something I purchased that wasn't what I thought it was. That falls under buyer be ware, etc...

Hats off and standing ovation to Mr. Truth Hawks for his courteousness, friendliness, punctuality and super outstanding customer service. Truth will continue to be a top shopping destination on my list.

Hair: >TRUTH< Mariposa - pearl
Skin: *League* Sia Fair FelineFemme -Frex -Cleavage
Eyes: Poetic Colors - pc eyes by LL - poison ivy - large
Lashes: Miamai - NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Freckles: L.Fauna - EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan]
Ears: *Dreams* - Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear 1.2
Dress: aDIVA Couture Just Gorgeous White
Pearls: Aly - Draping Pearl set
Shoes: :)(: Eve Temptation Shoes White V2
Couch: {What Next} - Just the two of us armchair

Faun's Midnight

2011-09-12T18:59:00.002-04:00

Faun's Midnight, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

When the moon sits high in the evening sky its ghostly glow filtering through the trees, the shadows come to life dancing in time with every whispered breeze. In this hour, half way between the setting of dusk and breaking dawn, this is the magical midnight hour, a time for the frolicking of fauns.

(c) sierra sugar 9/12/2011

Worn by both Lakea & Sierra:

Faun Avatar: Twisted Hunt prize from Deviant Designs
Skin: +Panda Express+: Oh! Deer (Lakea - tone 1, Sierra - tone 2)
Eyes: Poetic Colors

Sierra:

Wooden Fairy Wings: +Panda Express+ - ++PE++ OH DEER! Antler Wings
Horns: +Panda Express+ - ++PE++ OH DEER! Basic Antlers
Ears: +Panda Express+ - ++PE++ Wilted Elf Ears- Merlust
Tail: +Panda Express+ - ++PE++ OH DEER! Basic Tail
Hair: Damselfly - Jaqui (in Ruby Twilight)
Eyes: Poetic Colors -pc eyes by LL - poison ivy (Large)

Pose: !Bang - Smooshed
Photography: *SKC* Photography by Sierra Sugar

Still Standing

2011-09-11T16:52:00.005-04:00

Never Forget (click to see larger image)

The mourning sun glares on a street

once enshadowed

By Twin Towers standing as guardians

over Manhattan.

As dust and tears settle on a now

unfamiliar skyline

Their thunderous demise still

echoes the Nation.

Instead of bringing this great county

to its knees

We rise shaken and bruised, refusing

to admit defeat.

We join together as one

to show

A united front towards

a common enemy.

Our flag continues to wave, The Star

Spangled Banner continues to play

And prayers are lifted unto heaven

on Angels' Wings.

Today, amidst the rubble and chaos

brought to this land

We, The United States of America

proudly STILL STAND!

(c) karina 9/12/2001 (sierra
sugar's pen name)

Growing up I remember my parents talking about the assasination of John F, Kennedy and how even decades later they could perfectly remember even the smallest detail of that singular moment in time. I couldn't understand it. That is, not until September 11, 2001.

Ten years ago today I was married to an enlisted Navy man serving shore duty at Patuxent River, Maryland, which is located just South of Washington DC. We lived on base and he worked on the electronics and radar systems for the F-18 fighter jets. That morning, like any other morning we both were at work and the kids were in school, him on base and the kids and I off base. That's when I heard the news. A patient called to say she wouldn't be in, she was watching the news and a plane just flew into one of the Twin Towers in New York. I couldn't wrap my brain around that concept.

I went to put the news on for my boss and I. I remember standing there with my phone in my hand as I had called my husband but it just rang and went to voice mail. I vaguely remember hearing his voice mail message, as if through a hollow tin can, as the second plane flew into the other tower. When the first tower collasped, that's when my legs gave and I crumpled to the floor. By the time I was finally able to make my legs work and stand both towers had collapsed. I don't remember crying but my eyes burned and my cheeks were wet. Every number I tried to call got some message about circuits being overloaded and the call could not be completed. Being that close to DC I didn't know whether my husbands squadron was going to get called out. My family and friends didn't know if we were ok.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone actually rang. It was my husband. He had literally two minutes to talk. I remember him saying be quiet and listen. Get the kids and get on base NOW, they are locking everything down. No one in or out.

My boss told me to go and I did. I couldn't get through to the school but it didn't matter. Cars were lined up, buses were loading kids already, and the office was in hyper drive checking IDs and signing kids out. From that point it took me 3 hours to get on base as every car and person, kids included, went through a complete security check including metal detector and pat down. They looked in cars, trunks, behind seats, used big mirrors to scan the under carriage of every vehicle. Only those with valid military ID that showed they lived on base, or listed as critical crew were being allowed in, everyone else was turned away. And at 6pm no one, living there or not, was getting on the base, period. We were locked in for 3 days.

That night every navy wife and husband not on duty turned off their lights and sat in their front yards for a candle-light vigil. Even the kids were solomn and still for that hour. There was nothing we more we could do at that moment but pray and hope.

For days we watched nothing but every video, news cast, interview, and heart-wrenching story from that fateful morning. Until I finally couldn't take it anymore. I turned the TV off and took the kids to the park on base. Every moment of that day, every face seen on the TV, every tear, and every loss will always be etched in my memory. And every day I am thankful that for all the heartache and loss that day, my family was spared. I only wish so many others would have been as lucky.

Never Forget!

Twisted and Cute

2011-09-10T16:40:00.002-04:00

Twisted and Cute, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Taking a break during the Twisted Hunt at the skybox hunt area of Lemon & Cream.
slurl.com/secondlife/Dead%20Drop/106/55/26.

The Fall 2011 Unseelie Twisted Hunt is well under way. The hunt starts at DV8 and includes some 207 stores. It is touted to be THE most difficult hunt to be found anywhere in Second Life all year. However, don't let that claim to fame stop you from participating. It may be a difficult hunt with lots of decoys, prizes being moved, hypnotizing moving textures, and black and blue overload anywhere you go; BUT it is filled with some of the best gifts from all the stores in the hunt. These are top-quality items well worth the time and effort to find them. Also, many of the participating stores have mini hunts within their stores with extra prizes, mazes to complete for more gifts, and gatchas and special gallore! Take your time with this hunt and enjoy. Go with a friend or two, as two pair of eyes are better than one when trying to find the little blurple and black hellraiser boxes.

Also, join the Twisted Hunt group ( secondlife:///app/group/73770da7-7d71-a54e-6e86-60a3e9281e07/about ). THEY ARE A FANTASTIC bunch to talk with while you hunt! Keep in mind this is an active and very social group. There is always lots of talk and chatter, and not always on "topic". But that is the point. This is a very social, nutty, and overall friendly bunch of people. They will often help with clues in chat, but will not tell you directly where the box is.

Skin: *League* Sia Fair FelineFemme -Frex -Cleavage
Eyes: Poetic Color: pc eyes by LL - poison ivy - small
Tattoo: Eternal Misfit by *SKC*
Whiskers: ::Jungle Voodoo:: ~Quietly's~ Neko Whiskers -Get Wild-
Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ears 1.2
Collar: *GF* Fickle Heart Choker -white-
Top:*BOOM* Hope's Tank-Ocean
Shorts: *BOOM* Wei Shorts -Blue
Gloves: (TH special) *Bad Juju* Twisted Socks and Gloves
Antenea: (TH special) *Bad Juju* Twisted Antennae
Hair: (TH special) *Bad Juju* Twisted Hair-White

Sounds of Silence

2011-09-04T02:19:00.002-04:00

This time of year is easily the hardest time for me. It sneaks up on me every year. My emotions run high. My tears fall freely. I find myself angry and confused for no apparent reason. And then I realize what's going on. And even though it all makes sense, it doesn't make it any easier.

Labor Day weekend. In the US it's a long holiday weekend filled with football, cookouts, friends, family, laughter, time at the beach or lake, and fun. For many it is the last hurrah before they go back to school. For others it is a quick reprieve after the first one or two weeks of being back to school. For me? It is the last time I saw Teddy (Thor Bishop in Second Life) alive. Four years ago over Labor Day weekend I was up in Long Island, New York spending the week with him, meeting his family, and planning our future. I flew home the day after Labor Day full of hope and happiness. One month later I found myself on a plane back to New York for his funeral. It doesn't seem like it has been four years. And then again at times it feels like its been more than a lifetime. Throughout the year I remember him with laughter and smiles. I have said my goodbyes to him. I have packed away all but the most treasured memories and I have gone forward with my life. Yet, I find once again this time of year tripping me up and bringing me down. Four years.

Autumn is such a beautiful time of year. Throughout most of the country the colors start to change to rich reds, warm yellows, glowing oranges, and deep purples. The air is just barely starting to turn cooler, but the days are still sunny and warm. My mother loved the warmer months. The hotter the better. She lived to be outdoors in the sun. Autumn is when we lost her. Two years ago September 24th my mother lost her battle with cancer. Two years ago this time of year we were watching her struggle and slip away. Two years ago we were all in denial and silently preparing for the eventuality of her death. As much as we wanted to ignore it, wish it would go away, pretend it didn't exist, the cancer most definitely did exist and it was stealing my mother away breath by breath every day. I can still see the changes in her from each visit. I can still feel the frailty of her as I cared for her, helped her move, bathed and fed her those last days. Two years.

It doesn't seem fair for cancer to win so often. But it does, and it doesn't care how old you are. This time last year, yet again we were left helpless as we all watched my sister-in-law lose her fight with cancer. She was only a couple years older than me and had been fighting cancer for 4-5 years. When my mother died the year before she left behind a husband and three adult children. When the insidious cancer took my sister, she left behind a husband, one child just barely in college, and another still in high school. I was here, where I am most days, taking care of my patient unable to get away. I got the news of her passing and grieved her loss alone in silence. One year.

This time of year is hard. And I don't know where else to vent except for here. The above incidents are not the only things that have happened during September/October the past couple years, but they are the most significant. The others are just salt in already painful wounds. I was alone when I got the news that Teddy died. I sat all alone on the floor in an airport crying into a cell phone telling my dad. My best friend in real life didn't even know and when I tried to tell her she didn't understand, she couldn't. When my mother died I felt like I had to be the one to be strong because I watched as my brothers and dad were coming to pieces. I couldn't even express my pain for over a year, and even then it was over the phone to a long-distance friend who had never lost anyone and had no clue what I was feeling.

The past month here has been crazy with all sorts of repair work and technical problems. I am most definitely stressed and worn out. The past two days I've barely been able to hold the tears in when I'm on the phone or on the air. Music helps, distractions help, but they are not enough. When I hurt I tend to isolate myself. Hoping for someone, anyone to notice and reach out. In theory those that know me know this. Yet not one of them has taken the time to ask what is wrong. I reached out in sheer desperation to two different friends, just needing a little compassion and comfort to help me through what felt like the worst of it. One completely ignored me. The other told me to "get over it".

Why do I continue to put my faith in people? I like to think that when it counts I am a compassionate person. Honest and caring. Willing to listen and try to understand. Life experience has given me a lot, whether I wanted it or not. But it helps me relate hopefully to people around me. No one is perfect, we all fall short sometimes. But I would hope that when it matters I'm able to see through to someone's pain and be there for them. For those of you that perhaps I failed in this, you have my most heart-felt sincerest apology. And for those that know me know I tend to say "Everybody leaves". And that's exactly how I'm feeling right now, everyone's gone and I'm left sitting here completely alone.

If you listen to the sounds of her silence you'll hear the crash of tears as they fall.And if you look through the brightness of her smile, you'll see the shadows of sorrow in her heart. (c) 2011 Sierra Sugar

Queen of Puffys

2011-08-25T04:11:00.004-04:00

Queen of Puffys, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Second Life has gone gaga for all things Harry Potter, especially with the newest role play sim opening up soon. Hogwarts: Your Story is set to take place some 20 years after the end of the last book. And I too plan to pack my trunks and catch the Hogwarts Express back to the castle this year. Of course, I had to do a little back-to-school shopping.

The school uniform is a 25-piece set from SN@TCH, that you can either get free for a little bit of time spent fishing, or purchase outright. The set includes pants, skirts, shoes, socks, sweaters, and ties for all 4 houses. Just go to the main SN@TCH store and find their game room.

The Lemondrop Shoppe is participating in the Hogwarts special market. Among the special items to be found there are these ADORABLE Pygmy Puff pets. You can find them in a Gatcha at the market in 24 different colors (23 shown here). They perch comfortably on your shoulder, but be mindful they have quick little tongues that will dart out and lick you when you least expect it. All Pygmy Puffs are +trans so you can collect them, trade colors, and share with your friends. And YES, you can take them to school with you.

Happy Hogwarting everyone *snugglepuffs*

Shape: My Own
Skin: *League* Sia Fair FelineFemme -Frex
Freckles: L.Fauna EXTRA FRECKLES [Tan] (tattoo layer)
Eyes: pc eyes by LL - poison ivy - small
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Neko Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear 1.2

Outfit: SN@TCH Mary Potter (free 7seas Fishing prizes - 25 pieces in total, including ties for all 4 houses)
Shirt: 18 :::Sn@tch Mary Blouse (White-S)::: + 12 :::Sn@tch Slytherin Collar:::
Jacket: 20 :::Sn@tch Mary Cardigan (Grey-J):::
Skirt: 23 :::Sn@tch Tweed Mini Skirt (Grey-P)::: + 21 :::Sn@tch Plaid Ruffle Skirt (Black):::
Socks: 16 :::Sn@tch Lolli Socks (Grey)::: + 14 :::Sn@tch Lolli Sock Ruffle (Grey-LF)::: + 15 :::Sn@tch Lolli Sock Ruffle (Grey-RT):::
Shoes: 5 :::Sn@tch Ballet Slipper Shoe Shape::: + 3 :::Sn@tch Ballet Slipper (Black-LF)::: + 4 :::Sn@tch Ballet Slipper (Black/RT):::

Ohmai Emporium: Pygmy Puff (Crimson) from The Lemondrop Shoppe
slurl.com/secondlife/The%20Hidden%20Isle/21/218/1002
Gatcha 30L per: 24 colors total.
Shown: Anemysk
Antique
Ash
Candy
Celeste
Crimson
Custard
Lilac
Luxe
Magenta
Mink
Nettles
Peach
Pistachio
Polly
Prussian
Pumpkin
Sable
Sakura
Snow
Tea Rose 1
Wisteria
Wolfsbane
Not show "Chocolate Frog"

.❊ ڪʈℜ○ηģƸℜ ❊.

2011-07-10T16:12:00.002-04:00

Broken, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

"I'm done hopin' we'll work out. I'm done with how it feels, spinin my wheels. I'm done thinkin' you'll ever change and I know my heart will never be the same, but even on my weakest days......I get a little bit stronger."

There is much talk about love and holding on, never giving up, always being patient. The movie "A Walk to Remember" quotes 1 Corinthians with this definition of love:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4"

But what do you do when you feel all of that and more but it is not returned? "Just Friends" is the most painful phrase to any heart in this position. What do you do when you would do anything for someone, but they in turn would do anything for someone else? What do you do when the daily friendship is like acid in your chest. When every conversation with them, every phone call from them, every message from them, as innocent as they may be, is a reminder that everything you want stops at the word "Friend"?

At some point you have to protect your heart, and your sanity. Sometimes, the hardest thing you'll ever have to do is just simply let go no matter how much they beg you to stay. Let go and wish them the best. Let go and hope they continue to find all the happiness in life you ever wanted for them, and that maybe someday you will too. Let go because being just friends is a daily reminder of just how much it hurts to never cross that line. It doesn't mean you're weak, or that you love the person any less, but that maybe its time to love yourself a little too.

"I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark in these final hours I would lay down my heart and I'll feel the power, but you won't."

[SPRY] Pied-a-Terre

2011-07-07T16:26:00.006-04:00

A while ago Stacie Pryor sent me one of her build's, the Pied-a-Terre home. I fell immediately in love with this cozy, warm, tuscan-style little villa and delighted in decorating it. The home features a patio, livingroom, kitchen, a solarium/sunroom/hallway that divides two rooms (you decide the use. Mine were bedroom and bathroom). The home is roomy enough to furnish and not be crowded, but still small and cozy. Thank you, Stacie for your amazing build and your generosity.

Below you will find pictures as well as descriptions of items used to furnish the home, including decor from Dutchie, {What Next}, LISP, and The Loft. Stacie Pryor's home can be found on the Marketplace under her store name [SPRY].

ITEMS FEATURED IN ABOVE PICTURE: (ENTRANCE)
LISP - Professor Jazzmonkey's Sunbeam Catcher & Rug
*ARGRACE* - Mellow Sofa (Brown)
*ARGRACE* - Mellow Chair (Opening Gift)
LISP - Pile of Leaves (Autumn)

[SPRY PIED-A-TERRE LIVINGROOM

{what next} - Laurel Armchair
{what next} - Laurel Loveseat
LISP - Patchwork Rug
{what next} - Divine Chaise Longue
{what next} - October Shadow Box
{what next} - November Shadow Box
The Loft - Castara Lighting
Arcana Nuevo - Vase w/ Stand (Large)
Crypto - Woman
The Loft - Castara Drape Peach

[SPRY] PIED-A-TERRE KITCHEN

The Loft - Butcher Block (Green)
The Loft - Castara Dining Table, Chairs, & Accessories
The Loft - Castara Lighting
The Loft - Castara Kitchen Sink, Shelves, & Accessories
Southern Comfort - Antique Stove
The Loft - Castara Buffet, Shelves, & Accessories
The Loft - Milk Pail Stool
The Loft - Various Still Life Pictures
LISP - Restoration Clock
The Loft - Aloe Pot Med & Mini
{what next} - Laurel Log Basket
Dutchie - Hanging Ferns
The Loft - Castara Rug
LISP - Lullaby Bright Flower Arrangement
JJ Lane's Furniture - Tray w/ 3 Candles (Braata Linen)
JJ Lane's Furniture - Tray w/ 3 Candles (Morant Black)
The Loft - Stefan Clock Bronze
The Loft - Castar Fridge
JJ Lane's Furniture - Fireplace Tools

Chasing Pirates

2011-06-29T18:41:00.001-04:00

Pirate Kitty faded, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

In your message you said, you were goin' to bed, but I'm not done with the night.
So I stayed up and read, but your words in my head, got me mixed up so I turned out the light.

And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
My mind's racing from chasing pirates.

Well the man in there swings while the silliest things, floppin around in my brain.
And I try not to dream but them possible schemes, swim around, wanna drown me in synch.

And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
Oh my mind's racing from chasing pirates.

Ears - *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ear 1.2
Skin - *League* Sia Fair FelineFemme -Frex -Cleavage
Eyes - sa_ForestElfEyes_CelinFerns
Lashes - Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Hair - [Nikita] Bright Choque Hair - Ice
Shape - My own

Boots - *~*Illusion*~* *~*Pirate Boot Base: Fop/Strapped/Small Divided
Stockings - + ezura + Thigh-High Sheer Stockings *Stripes
Garter - ~Blacklace~ Trouble: Black Lace Garter w/Gun
Corset (prim) - Schadenfreude Corset (Frozen Waist) - Wider Ribs
Corset (alpha layer) - Schadenfreude Underbust Corset Alpha
Corset top (prim) - [Black] CorsetTop
Corset top (clothing jacket layer) - [Black] Corset
Skirt - Indyra Orginals - Bastille BustleSkirt
Pants - ~Blacklace~ Trouble: Velvet & Satin Gray Pinstripe Garter Belt
Panties - ~Blacklace~ Trouble: Black Velvet Panties
Collar - Indyra Orginals - Victorian Choker Ascot
Arm cuffs - Indyra Orginals - Bastille Cuff
Hat - Indyra Orginals - Bastille Tri-Corner hat

Sierra's Numbers

2011-04-14T18:12:00.003-04:00

Sierra's Nummbers, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Completing Strawberry Singh's challenge to list our shape numbers. It's wonderful to see such diversity in Second Life and everyone's idea is aesthetics when creating their avatar.

Please take a look at her Flickr group "What's your Digits" to see everyone who has participlated.

Other Credits:

Shape: My own custom creation
Skin: *League* Sia Fair Ruby -Frex -Cleavage
Hair: VIXEN - Besom - White
Eyes: sa_ForestElfEyes_CelinFerns
Lashes: Miamai_NoAlpha Lashes_N01
Nails: [ Love Soul ] Prim nails*Charme*White
Neko Ears: *Dreams* Tied with a Bow Snowy White Twitchy Ears (now Sanu)
Neko Tail: Psychotic Neko - Extreme Corset Tail

Outfit: ~Blacklace~ Crush: Pink Satin Mesh Camisole Set

Hard Lessons

2011-04-14T00:19:00.003-04:00

We deserve better than to stay together, simply because we are afraid of being destroyed should we part.

(paraphrased from "Eat. Pray. Love.")

No one ever said life and love were easy. In fact, for most all of us those are the two most difficult things we will face between birth and death. We spend our entire lives living to be loved or to find love, whether within ourselves or in someone else. Some of us are lucky enough to find that blissful peace, many of us never will, and eventually all of us will suffer the soul crashing pain of loss.

When love is new and fresh it is beautiful and exciting; the highest of highs along with the invincible rush of adrenaline. From our early years with our first puppy love crushes through adulthood, love attacks us and attaches to us in many forms. Even the most mild of afflictions can leave us breathless and wanting for more.

It is that euphoria that drives us to find new love or to hold onto old love. It is an addiction we feed, whether it is to find that grounding love in ourselves or see that reflection of acceptance from another’s eyes. Love is beautiful. Love is kind. Love is wonderful. Love is working together as both partners and individuals. Love is supportive and encouraging. Love is passionate and thrilling, and at times peaceful and calming. It cannot be described in mere words. But it is all things good and healthy, even the battles serve their purpose to make love stronger. But love misplaced can be crippling, and painfully debilitating.

Too many times so many find themselves in the grasp of the memory of love. Not even hope, for hope is usually a good thing. But the memory that lingers of what might have been if only…. We make excuses for why it went wrong. We deceive ourselves with lies on how it will get better. And we stagnate ourselves and our lives in a rut of painful familiarity clinging with white knuckles to one of the most perilous of words in the English dictionary:

If.

If I did this they will love me again. If this changed things could be better. If I was a better person…. If I had a better job…. If we lived somewhere else…. If I moved…. If they changed…. If they settle down….. So many ifs and each one of them sink into us like hooks, anchoring our hearts in a loveless place filled with anger, confusion, self doubt, and fear. It is a deception. The emotional wolf in sheep’s clothing teasing us with possibilities that logic dictates will never happen. But the heart almost always over-powers the mind, because the call of Love and its warm metaphors is more appealing than the sterile coldness of logic.

Stronger than any opiate. Real, honest, true, and reciprocated love has the power to bring about peace, serenity, passion and fire, trust, and respect. But when love is gone or never was, and you refuse to see and move on, it also has the power to make even the strongest person hollow and weak. Yet so many of us, myself included, have held on to something that wasn’t real simply because we were afraid of what was to come. Or rather, what wasn’t.

The guise of love, painful as it may be, was easier to handle than the thought of being alone. And that simple fact is what eventually will cause a person to lose themselves completely. Happiness does not come from another person. Love cannot be commanded or controlled. We cannot will someone to love us simply because we want them to. And life will in fact go on with out them. And if we let go, truly let go, we open ourselves up for the most pure and honest of loves to find us. But we must have faith and stop holding onto the ifs.

I always say, “Never give up.” Never give up on yourself! Don’t settle for any ifs or what might have beens. Believe enough in who you are go let go and live.

Let go of the lies. Let go the anger. Let go of the pain. No more yelling. No more unbearable silence. No more not being seen. We all deserve better.

We deserve better than to stay together, simply because we are afraid of being destroyed should we part.

~sierra

Virtually Six

2011-03-13T20:17:00.001-04:00

In the normal chronology of life six years can be a significant amount of time. If a person lives to be 60, six years is 1/10^th of their life span. If an average adult marriage lasts 30 years, six years is 1/5^th of that time. To a teenager six years is longer than one spends in high school or for many even college. But in terms of virtual chronology six years is more than a lifetime, to many it may seem like an eternity. In an age and environment where technology is outdated nearly as fast as it is developed and changes are measured in terms of gigabytes per second, a year marks an extreme passing of time.

It also marks the virtual age of Sierra Sugar. Six years ago today Sierra was “born” if you will into the virtual world of Second Life. Seeking an escape from the grind and drama of the average raid oriented guild in MMORPGs, a friend of mind recommended this “new” game. Knowing my affinity towards The Sims, he thought SL would be a nice change of pace from the XP grind of WoW. Little did I know what I was stepping into.

In a world where any person can be and create anything their heart desires, Sierra was created as and has remained a virtual extension of her real life user. The only deviation from that real representation was the addition of kitty ears and tail, call it a personality trait expressed visually. Many use Second Life as a way to be something they are not or could never be. I have used it as a means to express who I really am. The person who was always a bit too quiet, or too shy for her own good could finally have a voice and be seen. It allowed me to step out of myself and take a good look. It showed me many things I did not like, and quite a few I realized I did. It has afforded me opportunities for amazing friendships, incredible love, unending creativity, and yes even unbelievable heartache. Through the laughter, the tears, the good times and the bad, after six years Sierra still remains.

Six years is definitely an eternity in Second Life time. And in those six years I’ve seen this virtual world change exponentially. It was a much smaller world back then. The grid could easily be traversed by foot, vehicle or hot air balloon in the course of a couple hours at best. There were no private islands and mainland was being bought up in large quantities by a budding virtual real estate entrepreneur, Anshe Chung. The only known custom skin maker was Munchflower Zaius of Nomine fame. There was no flexi nor sculptie. And any average Second Life citizen could enter into chat with a Linden simply by asking for help in world.

In 2005 if you logged in and there were 8,000 people online you know the world was going to crash. I remember the first time I saw there were 12,000 people online. And again when there were 20,000 online I sat back and went “Wow!”. Now on any given day there will be on average 65,000-75,000 online. Again, just “Wow!”.

In my six years in Second Life I've seen people meet from half way around the world, fall in love, meet in real life, and make it work. I’ve witnessed the growth of virtual support groups and learning centers. I’ve both witnessed and personally experienced extreme acts of kindness and generosity given to “friends” in a virtual world shared so closely, where yet the real world separates them by hundreds and even thousands of miles.

Residents of Second Life span the globe and their charitable interests are expressed accordingly. Funds have been donated in large quantities not just for RFL, but also for the relief efforts of Katrina, Haiti, Japan, Abused Women, education, Mobility, and various other charitable organizations. Our first year in working with the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life, citizens of Second Life barely raised $100,000 USD. Yet that amount was considered a significant achievement brought about by merely a bunch of virtual gamer geeks. The past two years Second Life RFL teams raised over $2.5 MILLION USD each year. Again, just “Wow!”.

In six years here in this Second Life I’ve also witness heartbreaking sadness and acts so inhumane rage and disgust can’t even begin to express accurately. Negativity and evil exists in the real world just as surely as it does in a virtual world. It doesn’t make it right or any less wrong. Human nature being what it is can we really expect others to behave differently simply because it is virtual? Not really. We are who we are no matter what platform or environment we choose to represent ourselves and interact with others. Evil, in what ever context you wish it to be, simply is. We acknowledge it, avoid it if we can, and move on.

Being the perpetual optimist I try to not dwell on the negative. To quote another strong woman from a different era, yet just as equally virtual in its own sense for the time she was created, Ms. Scarlett O’hara once said “Tomorrow is another day!”

And yes it is. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

~sierra

H2 Photography

2011-01-16T13:22:00.000-05:00

Late nights in Second Life can bring about some interesting results. The other night I was standing on my land in SL AFK and windowed out responding to something on Plurk, not terribly uncommon of me. When I looked back at Second Life there was a strange man standing next to me on my property. Like most of you, coming back to SL and finding a stranger on your land can be somewhat disconcerting. But this was not some nosy, annoying newb, this was a well-put-together male Avatar just standing there quietly next to me, respectful would be the word I would use.

Meet Homer Hanly. The photographer and graphic artist behind H2 Photography in Second Life. Homer is a real life photographer and artist practicing and expanding his techniques in SL with the world of 3D Digital Artistry. Now here is where I blush and am ever so grateful. Homer was checking old LMs in his inventory and hopping around SL looking for scenic places to take pictures when he stumbled across my Caribbean Island Oasis and me, oblivious in AFK land. He watched and seemed to like the movements of my AO and the poses it created so decided to take some pictures. What he did with them is just simply amazing. Most of ya'll know I do most of my own photography for eMOTIONS and for fun. But I would (and plan to) hire Homer for a photo session for a personal collection. Check out his blog, Homer's Place and his Flickr! He's got a fun sense of humor and sometimes a daring voyeuristic style I think most of you will enjoy thoroughly.

Thank you, Homer for the wonderful pictures and the new found friendship. Thank you for the late night phantom chasing and Photoshop circles of confusion (my confusion creating not yours, lol).

"New Science" Versus KNOWN Astrology: ie your astrological sign really isn't changing!

2011-01-14T06:07:00.001-05:00

This information comes from someone whom I've known for some time now, whom I trust, and who works for a major Astrology Website (The Astrologer, Inc.) What it boils down to is that "new science" has discovered what astrologers have always known and have taken into account for. Your birth sign isn't really changing! Please read:

Astrologers have known about this for millennia. Seriously, millennia. Aristarchus of Samos noticed it back in 280 BCE. What happens is that due to a wobble in the Earth’s orbit our relationship to the ...zodiacal constellations is in a constant shift. Our main point of reference here is what we call the Equinoctal Point, that is the point on the zodiac where the Sun is at the second of the spring equinox, typically on March 21, but with leap years and depending on what time zone you’re in it could be the 20th. That particular point has been sliding backwards at such a slow rate that it makes a full cycle every 26,000 years.

For the many year...s before that astrologers had been noticing planetary motion and developed the system of signs. As with any developing body of knowledge they would slowly revise their descriptions of the signs as changes became evident. And the nature of the signs would change over the years to match the shift in stellar positions. Actually some astrologers still do that. They are called “sidereal astrologers” and siderealism is practiced rather little in the West, but it’s very big in India where the system is called Jyotish, or Vedic Astrology. In the west we generally prefer the “Tropical Zodiac”

Behind the “Tropical Zodiac” is the idea that the Zodiac of Signs is different from the Zodiac of Constellations. Building on Aristarchus’ discovery of the Precession, Hellenic astrologers figured that we are dealing with a system of interacting planets, the Moon and Sun. The stars are markers that drift, but our main points of reference are not directly the stars. They are the equinoxes (both spring and vernal) and the solstices which altogether make the four cardinal points of the zodiac which in turn determine the signs. The stars help us locate those points which define the SIGNS of the Zodiac which remain constant in relation to the equinox point. The CONSTELLATIONS do move about and we take that into consideration when locating planets.

This may be a bitter disappointment to people who don’t like their signs and thought they had a chance to change them. No sign is better or worse than any other. Each has its own strengths and weaknesses. A better approach would be to find a good astrologer who can tell you what your sun sign and the rest of your chart really are good for.

Astrologers have answered this one so many times we can only suspect that the astronomers who repeat this canard are being intellectually dishonest. At the very least, if Professor Kunkle were really just discovering the precession of the equinox he should have the integrity to ask an astrologer, hey, do you know about this and how do you deal with it? Acting like you have all the answers without doing even that much research is just really bad science.

(Thank you Sean Kelley, Kelli Fox, and The Astrologer Inc website)!

~sierra

PersonalDNA

2011-01-12T21:06:00.003-05:00

I want to thanks LillyAnne Crystal for sharing this on her blog and on plurk. Following her lead I took this test (takes about 30 minutes) and for the most part I think it's fairly accurate. Those of you that know me and have known me for some time now let me know what you think.

Considerate Creator

My personalDNA Report

You are a Creator

Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.

•You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency.

•Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.

•The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.

•You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.

•Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.

•You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.

•You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.

•Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.

•You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.

•You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

•Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different.

•Appreciate the earthly, practical elements of things—there is beauty in form as well.

•While you are good at thinking abstractly, focusing on details a bit more may help you discover things about the world.

You are Considerate

You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.

•You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.

•You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.

•Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.

•Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.

•Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.

•You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.

•Your close friends know you as a good listener.

If you want to be different.

•Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!

Our Time

2011-01-12T20:13:00.001-05:00

♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸♪.¸¸.•´♫•.¸¸.•♬*•.¸

I love that song. It brings back some wonderful memories. Even though that time has passed and the person I shared it with and myself have moved on, it still is one of those songs that brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.

Our Time. That's what we had. And I'm hopeful somewhere down the road there will be special someone to have time with again. But for all of you out there who have that special someone, this pose is for you. For your love. For your hopes. For your dreams. For your time, alone, together, in peace and happiness. Our Time, that perfect pose to sit and talk about everything and nothing. Our Time, when it feels like home simply because you are together.

Our Time is part of the Pro Posers Hunt #3. Be sure to follow the hunt and blog here. Don't miss out on all the wonderful gifts you can find during the hunt. Join the Pro Posers group to take part in the hunt as well as get special group only gifts and discounts.

~sierra sugar

I am me

2010-12-23T03:28:00.000-05:00

I don't apologize for who I am anymore!

I feel...everything. I laugh and I love with my whole heart. I cry real tears, often. I get angry. I get hurt. I stumble and fall. I make mistakes and try again. I'm intelligent but not genius. I'm talented but not gifted. I'm flirty but reserved. I stick my foot in my mouth regularly. I am never intentionally cruel or hurtful. I have a knack for missing the obvious. I crave attention and tend to smother people in return. I am broken but still trying. I am strong but still struggling. Even in my darkest moments I still hope.

Love me, leave, me, want me or hate me. I really don't care anymore. I am me. I am real. And I do not apologize for the person that I am.

A Gift for Everyone

2010-12-05T15:53:00.009-05:00

It's the holiday season and we all like to be able to give and receive presents. Over the years more and more content creators have followed the trend of making items "No Trans" which makes gifting difficult. Sure many stores offer the "buy now as a gift" options which allows you to purchase and have the item sent directly to the person at that moment. But its not the same as buying a gift, wrapping it up and giving it to the certain someone at a specific time, date, place, and setting of your choosing to make the moment special.

With this in mind I decided to compile a list of stores in Second Life that still offer transferable items, or at the very least have a Gift Card system. This will be a running list of all types of stores from clothing, hair, skins, poses, furniture, etc... That I will update regularly. Gifting isn't just for Christmas. Its great for birthdays, rez days, valentines day, anniversaries, and the always wonderful "just because".

Continue to check here for store updates. Or visit eMOTIONS and JJ Lanes">JJ Lanes Furniture in world at the SL Gifts Kiosk to get the current notecard with landmarks.

If you have or know of a store that offers transfer items or gift cards, or if a store on the list changes their location, please reply here or send me a notecard in world with the information.

2010 HOLIDAY SPECIALS

Twisted Krissmuss Holiday Hunt: 200+ Stores offering a specialty item that is +Trans and only 100L
Starting Dec 4th, you can swing by Twisted Krissmuss HQ and pick up:
— A guide book
— LMs to over 200 participating merchants
— A few little holiday goodies for you
— An invite to the group (easiest to get info that way)
— And possibly other cool things. ;)

ACCESSORIES

Accessories by Eolande: +Trans & Gift Cards

APPAREL

aDiva: +Trans
Alphamale: +Trans & Gift Cards
BareRose (B@R): +Trans
Basics: +Trans
     BLOG: http://basics.ashleighdickins.com
Blacklace: +Trans & Gift Cards
BlakOpal Design: Gift Cards
Calla: +Trans (must request +Trans from TigerLily Koi)
Clio: +Trans
BLOG: http://cliosmessyroom.blogspot.com
Courtisan Silks: +Trans
DARE DESIGNS: +Trans
Blog: http://newsfromtheloft.wordpress.com/
+DV8+: Gift Cards
HTC: Gift Cards
HUDSON'S: +Trans
INSOLENCE: +Trans
Kismet: Gift Cards

MaiMai: Gift Cards
PajamaRama: +Trans
PomPomPom (formerly *evie's*): +trans
     BLOG: http://pompompomstoreblog.wordpress.com/
QQ Fashion: +Trans
R:A:D: Gift Cards
Ravenwear: + : +Trans & Gift Cards
Rfrye: +Trans & Gift Cards
Sage Fashion: Gift Card
Sascha's: +Trans & Gift Cards
~Scribble~: +Trans
SF Design: Gift Cards
Blog: http://sfd-secondlife.blogspot.com/
Shiki Design: Gift Card
Blog: http://shikidesign.blogspot.com
Sn@tch: +Trans
Solange: Gift Cards
BLOG: http://www.solangefashions.blogspot.com/
Somnia: Gift Cards
SySy's: Gift Cards (also has limited holiday items that are +Trans)
Blog: http://sydesigns.blogspot.com
TempT: +Trans
The Curious Seemstress: +Trans
     BLOG: http://gwd-greenwooddesigns.blogspot.com/

Artwork

Laval Photography Gallery: +Trans
Virtual Alchemy Photography :+Trans (on first floor only)

Baby

Breedables

*all Breedable animals are transferable. The food/stat items are usually not.
Only the MAINSTORE for the original creator of each breedable type will be listed. There are many in-world groups for breeders's stores, auctions, etc.

Ozimals (Bunnies)
(Chickens)
(Horses)
(Kitties)
(Lizards)
(Quail)
(Turtles)

Christmas

HUDSON'S: +Trans
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards
Laval Christmas Shop: +Trans

DISCOUNTED, FREE & FOR NEWBIES

DARE DESIGNS NEWBPOCALYPSE
Blog: http://newsfromtheloft.wordpress.com/

EYES

FOOD & DRINKS

THE FOODING: +Trans

FURNITURE

AA Garden Center: +Trans
DAMNED GOOD DESIGN: +Trans
EarthDwellings: +Trans
HUDSON'S: +Trans
JJ Lanes">JJ Lanes: Gift Cards
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards
Tiki Tattoo: +Trans
::WetCat:: Builds&Poses: +Trans

HAIR

Alli&Ali Designs: Gift Boxes (UNopened - rez on ground, recipient clicks the TOP of the gift box to receive item.)
Blog: http://www.allialidesigns.com/
Calla: Gift Cards (for both Men's & Women's Hair)

Homes, Buildings, Structures

JJ Lanes Prefab Homes: Gift Cards
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards

Jewelry

Carolina Jewelry: Gift Cards (IM owner and she will make any requested item +trans for purchase)
BLOG: www.capollo.blogspot.com
EarthStones: +Trans & Gift Cards

LANDSCAPING

Botanical: +Trans

**forest feast**: +Trans
Heart Garden: +Trans
Tiki Tattoo: +Trans

Maternity

Misc

Happy Mood: +Trans
Mechanized Life (FilterCam, MachimaCam): Gift Cards
Blog: http://www.mechanizedlife.com/
~Scribble~: +Trans
*~Zanzibar creationZ~* (costumes, facepaint, unique items): +Trans

NEKO ACCESSORIES

Pets & Animals (NOT BREEDABLES)

AKK Horse Ranch: +Trans
VKC Dogs: +Trans
X Fusion (mean little kitty, puppeteer): +Trans

POSES and ANIMATIONS

Boudoir Rouge
BeScene Poses: Gift Cards
eMOTIONS: +Trans
Blog: http://emotions-byskc.blogspot.com/
Props-N-Poses: +Trans
.:S:. Stance Poses & Props: Gift Cards
+Studio Sidhe+: Gift Cards

SHOES

AVA CHOO Fantastic Footwear: Gift Cards

SKIN

Textures

Kismet: Gift Cards
Laval Christmas Shop: +Trans

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2010-12-01T02:15:00.002-05:00

Christmas2010a, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Where I come from in Real Life we have seasons such as "Summer", "August", "Hot" and "February" (where we get a slight reprieve from the heat and humidity). So Fall and Winter in Second Life for me are the most enjoyable. I love to see Sim landscaping change with the seasons. I love how all the stores fashions reflect the colder weather of wintry climates. I love the warm fuzzy sweaters and boots of all varieties. And I love to decorate for the holidays with all the little pretties I find around the grid.

Second Life is a great big play ground of amazing possibilities, fantastical creations, and imagination without boundaries. So as I sit here sipping hot chocolate in my house cooled to a comfortable 70 degrees thanks to the modern luxury of air conditioning, I decorate my home Sim for Christmas. Caribbean Islands are not known for their blustery winters and snow days, so I build up in the sky. SL is great for defying the laws of physics too! In my little skybox I'm able to create a cozy snowy scene complete with frozen pond, frost covered evergreens, and a cute little wooden cabin.

I string some paper snowflakes across the doorway and hang a pretty wreath on the wall. A simple Christmas tree with its twinkling lights brings a touch of festive cheer. As I sit all warm and cozy inside my cabin I can look out on my perfect little winter scene and smile. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Skin: [PXL] - Kasumi SK RoseLips P
Makeup: [PXL] - Kasumi SK Smoke Eyes
Lashes: MaiMai - No Alpha Lashes N01
Hair: Damselfly - Whiskey in Ruby Twilight Blend
Eyes: Poetic Colors - Poison Ivy
Ears: *Dreams* - Tied with a Bow Snowy White Ears
sweater: !BDC FIRESIDE FAWN SWEATER MINI
Cabin: {what next} - Nordic Cabin
Photo Credits: *SKC* Photography

Still Waters

2010-11-24T01:29:00.000-05:00

They say still waters run deep.
The surface smooth. The surface calm.
But what you don't see below is the force of those waters, swift and strong. At times a veritable maelstrom of movement below surface warmth. Pushing and pulling from within, and surrounding anyone who manages to find their way inside.

They say still waters run deep.
And there is much more than what is seen reflected back to you. But for most the surface is all they will ever see. It may not always be a peaceful place. But it is my place.

They say still waters run deep. And if you're not afraid to look, you may just find me there. (c) 2010

A little bit of sugar

2010-10-26T15:25:00.000-04:00

Reposting this from a recent Surf Watch entry, check out the full article Here. One little, very little, kitty DJ was spotted doing a unique spin on the decks.

And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the waters...

Two Three Six Five - Sierra Sugar

2010-10-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

Earlier in the year I was recommended by Callie Cline to the Two Three Six Five blog and they asked me if I would like to write. The Second Life Two Three Six Five is the SL version of the RL blog of similar namesake. After reading over the project and comparing the SL and RL blogs I was ecstatic to be included in this project. And of course the date that naturally came to mind for me to write about was 10/09/2010, a significant day to those that knew me.

Little did I realize the changes life would take over the past year and how it would effect my writing (and personal life) in a way I never imagined. If you haven't already been following this blog do go and check it out Here. If you've liked what I said please leave a comment. All feedback on anything I write is always most welcomed.

~Sierra Sugar

Argument in favor of a Private Tutor (Another "Big Fish")

2010-07-24T21:26:00.006-04:00

"You know before they'll let you live up here you have to pass Yankee School."

This is what he tells me. "Yankee School", an indoctrination into the ways of being a Yankee. Apparently, Southerners cannot legally become a citizen of the Island unless they pass this secretive training camp. And just WHERE is this all-important Yankee School located?

"Yankee Stadium. You'll have to go there for two weeks."

I can feel my heart pounding and the faint tingling of a burn in my eyes. Two weeks?! How am I ever going to survive two weeks in Yankee Stadium all by myself, well all by myself with presumably hundreds of other potential Yankee wanna-bes, or possibly-bees, or how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-here-bees people? It was time for some serious action and negotiating.

The law says I have to pass Yankee School to live there, but it doesn't say I *have* to go to Yankee Stadium. That's just the most common and largest gathering place to convert, I mean teach unknowing Southerner's about the mysterious ways of the North, including their clipped, edgy vowel sounding vocabulary. What if I had a private tutor? What if he was my private tutor? Surely there is precedence for that.

He’s being stubborn. Or coy? Or perhaps playful? “I dunno. Why do you need a private tutor?” He asks.

Oh why indeed. *puts on her most innocent and sincere game face and commences with the powers of negotiation*

Throughout history there have been distinct fashion differences between the North and the South. One has only to watch the transformation of Michelle Pfieffer in the movie “Up Close & Personal” when she moves from South Florida to a news station in the North to realize that there are still distinct differences in acceptable attire for specific roles. And is not a “school girl” a specific role? I believe it is. And thus my argument in favor of a private tutor is that coming from Florida I have only the proper attire for a Florida School Girl and not a Yankee School Girl. It would be unacceptable, inappropriate, and possibly illegal for me to venture out to Yankee Stadium dressed in such clothing. Therefore requiring me to have a private tutor for the duration of my “Yankee School.”

Exhibit A – Proper Yankee School Girl

Skin: Curio – Sunkissed Elf Light Freckles Snug 1
Hair: Truth – Lillian in Blood
Eyes: Poetic Color – Poison Ivy
Shirt: SF Designs Flexi Tie in Ruby
Tie: SF Designs Fair Isle Vest and Short Sleeved Shirt in Gray
Skirt: *Last Call* Hunt Club – The Baroness in Blood
Stockings: Deviance Flirt Stockings (From the Deviance Flirtatious outfit)
Shoes: Vignette – Toasties in Soil
Ears: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Pose: [LAP] Spice – Back to the Wall
Desk: Basic Desk v3
Bookshelf: RFD - Biedermeier Book Cabinet
Laptop: PixelTrix Laptop 1.33 - White

Exhibit B – Typical Florida School Girl

Skin: PXL – Lt NE Rose with Light Eyebrow
Hair: Truth – Ashlin in Blood
Eyes: Poetic Color – Poison Ivy
Shirt: B@R - Kar shirt in white
Tie: B@R - Kar pink tie
Pants: Branded – Denim Rolled Shorts
Shoes: N-Core – High School ExtremeHeel in Black
Ears: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Tail: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Pose: eMOTIONS - Aloof
Backpack: SF Designs – Puppy Backpack
Window seat: Second Spaces - Camille Window Seat w/accessories (Down the Chimney Hunt Prize)

Hopefully I've presented a strong enough case to win him over and have him be my private tutor. A poor Florida kitty wouldn't survive a day, much less two weeks in the chilling New York climate and harsh fashion critical eyes.

I am beautiful!

2010-06-18T23:49:00.010-04:00

Beautiful 2, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

"You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose weight."

I don't know how many times I heard that when I was growing up. I was in the 6th grade the first time I was put on a diet. Seriously! I remember I was 4'6" tall, 99lbs, in gymnastics and a tomboy playing baseball, swimming, dirt bike riding, lifting weights, and other activities and I was put on a diet. I learned to dress to hide my body as it filled out through puberty. I walked with my head down. I kept to myself. I stopped participating in group activities. And I did everything to undermine the various forms of diets over the years.

I had a serious problem with starvation and binging. I refused to eat where anyone could see me. When I finally was old enough to drive I'd stop on the way home and get something to eat and hide the evidence, feign being full at the dinner table and snack on unhealthy goodies hidden in my room at night. My senior year in high school I was 120lbs and too embarrassed to take my shirt off at the beach or pool and reveal my bathing-suit clad "ugly" body I was now convinced I had. After all, how many times can one hear "If you'd only lose weight you'd be pretty" before it sinks in that you're NOT pretty. At age seventeen I attempted suicide. It was a serious attempt and I was only saved as a close friend was worried about me at school that day and stopped by unexpectedly and called an ambulance.

Fate intervened, but it didn't remove the self-depreciation I had for myself. I could look at others around me and see their beauty, but I could never see my own. No one person or source is responsible. It comes from home, from peer pressure, from doctors, from media, from every angle imaginable. No wonder teens and adults alike suffer from depression over the stress of trying to fit in, to be the right shape. I spent all of my teenage and adult years hiding, believing I'm never good enough. I'm not good enough because I'm not pretty enough. And I'm not pretty enough because I'm not thin enough. This is what I was lead to believe as a young teenage girl. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see me. I saw the image that was planted in my head.

Over the years I've continued to struggle with my weight. Life, pregnancy, and stress all contributed to my unhealthy habits. I've tried to find different ways to both fit in and hide at the same time. It has taken me a very long time to even begin to realize is, there IS no "right" shape. Physical appearances change and fade over time. We all, every single human on the planet ages. We all will grow old. We all will gray eventually or lose our hair. But while the outside changes dramatically over time, who we are inside remains essentially the same. That is where the true beauty lies. That you cannot cover up with make up, or change with surgery, or hide with pretty clothes. Our smiles, our eyes, our words, and our love tells the tale of who we are truly. That is the beauty we share with others. That is the beauty that cannot be reflected in any mirror, but rather is reflected in the eyes of those that love us, all of who we are in and out.

No one is perfect. Every single one of us is full of various imperfections that make us beautifully perfect. And while we all are different, we all ARE beautiful. So, it doesn't matter what shape you see when you look in the mirror, remember you are beautiful.

Say it with me. "I am beautiful!"

~sierra

-------------------------------

Carra Fargis created the tank tops featured in my blog post as a fight against suicide. She states she had a friend suffer from and eventually die as a consequence of an eating disorder. You can find her shirts and message on Xstreet HERE

I'd also like to thank a friend from SL and Plurk, Winter Jefferson, for making a Plurk about these very shirts and bringing it my my attention.

Three Days (parts 1 and 2)

2010-05-28T12:50:00.002-04:00

PREFACE

I will be posting a series of blog posts tagged as "Big Fish". I'd like to thank someone special to my heart, Cole, for helping to bring a spark of creativity back to my writing. These posts are loosely based in idea only off a film we saw together called "Big Fish" featuring an all-star cast to include Ewan McGreggor and Danny DeVito. If you've not seen the movie, you absolutely must. It has become something I identify closely with, and anyone who has ever spent time in Second Life and has memories there, then you too have your own Big Fish.

Our Avatars are an extension of our personalities and the experiences we have in Second Life through our avatar become part of our real memories. These adventures in a virtual world while entirely "real" (in a sense) to us are nothing more than Big Fish stories to other who have not had the joy of such an incredible and immersive world. I hope you all enjoy my personal Big Fish and have many of your own to look back and smile on.

((This is not our first Big Fish story we've created together. Earlier ones were based entirely on SL experiences. Having made the decision to meet in Real Life we started working on a future Big Fish story about that up-coming meeting as a way to relieve some of the anxiety of this huge step.

Written by my through his perspective.))

-Part 1-

As I lined up with the rest of the Lemmings to leave the plane I realized just how sleepy I really was. It had been a long sleepless night. I’d glance at the clock thinking hours had passed and surely it would be time to get up, only to find the clock minute hand had only moved an agonizing half an inch. It felt like it was going to take a lifetime for those three days to finally arrive.

Three days. It seemed like a decent amount of time when we were making plans. But now that everything was moving in fast-forward, even with my fatigue induced fog, three days seemed like only a blink of an eye. How is it that time can be so elastic? How can it can it be allowed to shift speed leaving the innocent party to stumble along trying to keep up? Time, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor.

Someone cleared their throat and I realized the Lemmings were finally shuffling their feet forward, so I followed suit. One foot in front of the other that felt both agonizingly slow and far too fast at the same time. Would she be waiting for me? Would she recognize me? Would I recognize her? And then what?

That was the big question we both feared, the what next part. And now that the answer was so close I could almost taste it, along with the stale airplane air that clung to my tongue, I was suddenly unsure. I had to readjust the grip of my duffle bag to keep it from slipping from my moist palm. At least I didn’t have to worry about the airline losing my luggage this trip as I chose to carry everything with me in one carry-on bag. Everything I’d need for a weekend fit neatly into one carry-on. One weekend, three days, and I cursed time as I finally stepped off the plane into the terminal.

Sunny Florida. The plane arrived on time touching down at exactly 11:25am. A few minutes to taxi, another couple minutes to disembark the plan, and I was suddenly submerged in a sea of bright sunbeams streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the terminal. Pulling my sunglasses from my pocket I quickly slipped them on to help ease the pain from the glaring bright light. It was a warm happy scene, but my eyes were just too tired for the radiating brightness.

No longer having to squint I could finally see where the other Lemmings went, so I adjusted my duffle bag one more time and followed them out of the terminal to the main area. That’s where she said she’d meet me. Was it really that much warmer here already, I thought shifting my duffle bag finally to my other hand and wiping the clamminess of my palm onto my pants.

It wasn’t quite as bright in here so I was able to take off the sunglasses. Looking around I could see that I wasn’t the only shell-shocked traveler unsure of where to proceed next. There was a tall square pillar just at the edge of what appeared to be a solarium so I leaned casually against it and let my bag drop to my feet. That looked casual right? Did Florida have a wattage control for their sun down here? Above the center of the solarium sunlight didn’t just stream lazily down, it burst through the glass roof with a force I wouldn’t have believed possible. Even the dust in the air was swirling and dancing in the light, animated by the intensity of the beams.

The light was definitely doing something to wake me up. More alert I slowly scanned the entire opening. She wasn’t here. Yet. I reminded myself to add yet to my thoughts. Jacksonville’s a big city; maybe she’s caught up in traffic? Maybe she was delayed getting away from home? No, she’s not here yet. Maybe in a few more minutes? I glanced at my wrist, my bare wrist, and shook my head. Right, I was supposed to get another watch last week. Instead of counting the minutes on my would-be watch, I counted the travelers walking by.

I took more notice now realizing not all were Lemmings. Oh there were many Lemmings around to be sure, but that one there, in the bright sundress and sandals, a light step to her gait, a purse and small carry on, she was eager to get to her destination. Happy even. Was she headed out for a weekend such as mine? And those two there, the man in the crisp Navy uniform and the pretty little girl holding his hand, sadness and tangible longing in the way they looked at each other. This was a sad goodbye. I shook my head, I didn’t want to think about sad goodbyes. I sighed. Three days.

Shifting my weight to my other leg I realized my foot had fallen asleep. Where was she? What time was it? Leaning over to grab my duffle bag I pushed away from the pillar with a purpose now. My own stride was a little awkward, as my half-asleep foot seemed to have a mind of its own. But I needed to find a clock. There, just over LDC display of flight arrivals and departures was the time. What? Wait! That can’t be right. How was it suddenly 3pm? Impossible! I turned and walked to the gift shop.

“Excuse me. Can you tell me the time, please?” I asked the kid behind the counter. He appeared to be in high school, but obviously coordinated enough to not only work but also remember to wear a watch. I shook my wrist is agitation.

“Five minutes after three.” He informed me. My face must have been a sight. I could feel the emotions start to take form on my face then change before fully developed and move onto another emotion, morphing several times before settling into utter and complete confusion. “Is something wrong?” The kid asked.

Smile.

My defense mechanism from years of keeping people from knowing what’s really going on in my head. I just smiled. “Can I get a newspaper?” The kid handed me the current daily edition of USA Today, of course. Paying for my paper I walked to an unoccupied row of cushioned benches and found a seat in the back out of the way. Sure I could call her, I thought to myself spying the pay phones and suddenly remembering the cell phone in my pocket, turned off for the flight. But if she was standing me up why give her the satisfaction? No, I’d wait it out. Soon as I calmed down I go to the ticket counter and change my return flight to the next flight home today.

Snapping the paper open my thoughts were stopped in their tracks.

Thursday, July 8, 2010.

Thursday.

July 8th.

Not July 9th.

I felt myself getting a little light headed and took deep breath sucking in the air suddenly realizing I had been holding my breath. I’m a full day early. No wonder she isn’t here. She didn’t stand me up. She’ll be here, in 20 hours, but she’ll be here! The paper in my hand drooped.

HOW had I managed to get on the wrong flight, the flight leaving a whole day earlier? How was that possible? What type of incompetent staff did the airlines employ these days? Hadn’t they cracked down on all that after 911? Why didn’t someone say “Sir, you’re here a day early. You’re flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”? And I had to fly home in three.. no four days under the care of these same people? Maybe I’ll rent a car. I pulled my boarding pass from my pocket ready to head to the ticket counter to make a scene when my legs froze half way up out of the bench. I stood frozen there for half a second before collapsing back onto the bench. I rubbed my eyes, looked again, and then let out a deep sigh.

Departure Date: Thursday July 8, 2010 LaGuardia Airport
Arrival Date: Thursday July 8, 2010 Jacksonville International Airport

Right there in black and white. I’d booked the wrong flight. My mind, so eager to get down here had subconsciously picked an earlier day to leave and it never registered consciously. So here I am, in Florida, a day early. A day early! No longer Three days but FOUR! Smiling broadly I reached for my cell phone powering it on. Then immediately powered it back off and slipped it back into my pocket. No, I couldn’t call her. She told me she had a million things to do to get ready. Besides, she couldn’t just run out unscheduled. She had a patient to take care of, to coordinate her schedule around. I sighed again. No, I would just wait it out here and tomorrow she and I would have a good laugh. I sat back on the bench, opening the paper again, only this time without the previous annoyance. What’s going on in the rest of the world today?

©2010

-part 2-

“Did he stop breathing?”

“Is he dead?”

“If he’s dead can I have his watch?”

“He’s not dead and he’s not wearing a watch, you idiot!”

The strange voices didn’t seem to make sense. Its like they were talking into a bucket or a can. The voices had that ring of hollowness. Maybe I was dreaming? That’s probably it. I hate when my dreams do that though. I was having this incredible dream, I was in a meadow with her, and the weather was perfect. And it was just getting to the really good parts; I could tell when everything shifted to this… new dream that didn’t make any sense. Maybe if I got more comfortable I could find my way back to that other dream. I turned over and immediately realized I wasn’t dreaming.

There was the sound of paper wrinkling, the fleeting feeling of falling, and then the air knocked from my lungs as I landed on something cold and hard. The strange voices started snickering. Opening my eyes I realized the paper was actually the newspaper that had obviously fallen open over my face when I fell asleep. And the linoleum floor of the airport waiting area was the cold and hard object I’d landed on. Looking up, I realized the voices came from a motley crew gang standing just a few feet away. That was the only word I had for them. There were four of them, each carrying a backpack fairly filled to overflowing, the tallest one towing a luggage cart, each wearing an assortment of miss-matched items of clothing, three of them, all fairly tall, standing slightly behind the shortest one who was appraising me with a set of eagle eyes, color unknown.

Officer: Can you give me a description, height, hair color, eye color?

Me: Tall and short, all various shades of gray and brown.

Oh what a wonderful eyewitness I would make. Who knew color blindness could be so inconveniencing? I half wondered if this strange gang would take pity on me and maybe leave me alone for my handicap? Somehow I doubted that.

I groaned as I pushed myself off the floor acknowledging I was definitely going to have a few bruises from the fall. Why didn’t I call her? Why didn’t I get a hotel room? A taxi? Rent a car? All obvious choices now that I’d had a little sleep.

The short one was talking again. I forced myself to focus.

“Don’t try to play the dumb foreigner with us. You were reading an English newspaper, so I know you understand me. I’m gonna as you again, just what were you doing on our benches?”

It was more of a demand than a question. Someone had obviously never gone through public speaking. I turned and looked at the bench noting it was rather plain, unmarked without any names or symbols of any kind. Turning my gaze back to the band of airport rats I shrugged and said, “There were no names on it.”

I guess the bigger one in the back didn’t like my condescending tone of voice as I noticed him readjust something in his grip. A baggage tie. Seriously? A baggage tie? It was all I could do to not roll my eyes.

Another one spoke, it was the voice that wanted my watch. “Ooh, we have ourselves a Yankee. Aren’t you a little too far from home snowbird?” The other two in the back snickered again, the short one in the front continued to assess me, her hand obviously fidgeting with something in her pocket.

I stretched my arms out only half pretending to stifle a yawn, slipped my hands into my pants pockets and shrugged as I leveled my gaze on the smart-mouthed one. “Well I hear the water is better down here so I thought I’d come have a taste. But I suspect you find the water better down here too, ay?” He still had a touch of a Canadian accent and his eyes narrowed and he took a step forward when I called him on it. The tall one swung the cart around in front of him and the air around me became electrically charged with the tension.

“Alright alright. Settle down.” The short one was saying now, her hands stretched out at her sides as if to hold the others back. The object she was toying with in her pocket now visible, a baggage tie. Now that I looked closely all four of them had these baggage ties clutched in their fingers with a purpose.

Casually I pulled my hands out of my own pockets and raised them about shoulder level in a frozen shrug, a ‘hands in the air’ kind of move usually meant to convey no harm meant and shows hands clear of any weapons. On my right hand I spun my key ring, dangling off one side was the delta wings that I was given as a complementary flight gift off the other end was the laser toy used to annoy… I mean amuse my cats. The key ring spun around my finger like a miniature lop-sided set of nun chucks.

Everyone froze.

The key ring stopped spinning and I held the laser toy in my grasp, hands still half in the air, a casual smile on my lips as I appraised the leader. I’d done nothing more wrong than falling asleep on a public airport bench. The pack of airport rats, trapped in time in some terminal like a bad B movie was not about to oust me. Tomorrow I would see her and be well rested with a harrowing tale of my victory over a vicious gang out to maim me with their deadly baggage ties. My lips curled up in a devilish smile.

“Well, I hope you find the water to your liking.” The short one was talking again as she eyed my laser warily. She took a slow deliberate step backward and lowered her arms, but not putting her hands back into her pockets. “Let go check out Gate A, I saw Johnny’s girl heading that way when we specifically told them that was our Gate after they lost last week.”

The mouthy one started to protest but the short one gave him a look that easily read he shouldn’t question her decision. In unison all four seemed to relax, though not completely dropping their guard, and they shuffled quietly down the wide hall and around the corner, presumably off to Gate A. I caught a few hushed words that sounded like “His bench” and “Laser” and “Crazy”.

Chuckling, I sat back down on the bench no longer tired but craving a hot cup of coffee. Wasn’t there a Starbucks back at one of the corners surrounding the solarium? Grabbing my duffle bag I headed off on a quest for my liquid black gold, key ring in hand just in case.

©2010

The Reason ~In Loving Memory of Thor Bishop~

2010-04-15T04:33:00.001-04:00

or copy/paste this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4eajJDtN9M

A love story that transcended time, distance and worlds. Its taken me over two years to be able to start writing about and sharing my memories of Him. We had two amazing years together with enough memories both in Second Life and Real Life to last many lifetimes. With His birthday fast approaching, He would have been 41, thoughts of Him have been prominent in my mind.

This video is for our time spent in Second Life where we met. It was only a bridge to bring us together in the real world. In SL He was known as Thor Bishop. On the air (radio DJ) He was known as Loki. To friends and family He was Teddy Prohinsie. To me He was and always will be my Love, my Bear, my Heart.

i've tried to keep the pictures as chronologically correct as possible. Most are old snapshops with no, little or very poor photoshop work. But they are memories. Our time goes back before flexi, before sculpties, even before "private islands". Our time crosses an eternity in SL yet seemed so very short. When i was sorting through pictures i was amazed and the sheer number of pictures i had. There were far too many to put into one video, even a long video. But then, many are memories special perhaps to me only. There are some that i may share here over time with stories to narrate them. For now, this video says more than any of my words could possible hope to do.

These two songs used in the video were very special songs for us. "Secret Garden" was playing the first time i told Him i loved Him. "The Reason" was the song He sang to me and used as part of His wedding vows to me. For two years i couldn't listen to either of these songs. Only now have i been able. Its taken many tears to put this together. i miss Him still.

~sierra
In loving memory of Thor Biship
4/22/1969 - 10/09/2007

eMOTIONS - Closer

2010-04-07T15:03:00.003-04:00

eMOTIONS - Closer, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Closer is another new release making its debut at Pose Fair 2010. Sometimes no matter how close you get, you still need to get closer. Closer is an all-engaging, wrapped up in you, need to be as close as i can, right now kind of kiss.

A bit of a story behind this pose, if you all will indulge me. Back in the early part of 2006 (no snickering at the old lady here ok) I was lucky enough to meet this amazing man in SL, Thor Bishop. Those of you that know me have undoubtedly heard many stories about Him. Here is one that I've not shared before, atleast not in as much detail. I've always been a very shy person, reserved and private in relationships, and I'm not one to kiss and tell. But this pose is inspired completely by the very first kiss Thor and I shared that week we spent together in late December.

Thor and I met in real life after Christmas of 2006, and from the first moments we knew this was meant to be. I remember standing in front of Him, between His legs as He was sitting, and He was STILL taller than me! That gave Him a good chuckle. I remember when He touched my cheek and told me to "come here". I answered shyly, "I AM here." He placed His hand at the back of my neck and pulled me closer so we were literally nose to nose and winked at me. He had this crooked smile when He said, "No, I mean here."

And then He kissed me.

Any fear, shyness, or doubt that I had vanished. You can laugh all you want, but it was an instantaneous change. In that moment I knew He was all I needed. That first kiss lasted forever, and ended way too soon. We stood there, well HE sat, in the room, the doors wide open to the whole world but completely lost in each other. At some point I remember Him growling. *Laughs* Yeah the big man growled. Grabbed me behind my knees and pulled me up into His lap. I can honestly say it was the most intense, passionate, loving moments I had ever experienced in my life up to that point. And all it was, was a kiss. Just a kiss, but to my heart so much more.

Closer, always needing to be closer. In loving memory of my "Bear", my love, my one.

~sierra sugar~

eMOTIONS by *SKC*

Memories in Technicolor

2010-03-17T21:42:00.002-04:00

Entwined colorized, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Its been a long time since I've written about Thor. Not because I don't think about Him. He is in my thoughts daily. Its just that sometimes it's so hard to put down into words what is still my heart for this man. Sometimes the memories are still too painful. Sometimes missing Him simply overwhelms me to the point that all I can say or think is "i miss Him!" No, thinking about Him is not the problem. Writing about Him and all that He still means to me has always been a problem. Its seems the emotions are just too big for words.

But today I have memories, happy colorful memories of mohawks. Thor's mohawks to be exact. It was a hairstyle He was known for throughout SL. And it was not unusual to see Him with some bright technicolored mohawk. Hot pink, vivid blue, neon purple, red with black tips, green with black streaks, blonde, orange, long, short, soft, spiked.. You name it He had it in a mohawk.

There was this one time when I was out of town for work and He was bored. He conned a friend of our to go shopping with Him. Actually, from what I've been told it was more like He bugged everyone on His friends list until someone took enough pity on Him to "babysit" for a few hours til I was home. Of course, I was just as bad without Him. So, when I finally get home He tells me He has something to show me. A mohawk. The most god-aweful ugly mohawk you can find anywhere. In 80 colors! EIGHTY!!! I didn't know whether to laugh, sigh, or ban Him from shopping without me.

But the mohawk was His thing. I can't say that it defined Him, because Thor was beyond definition. He was outrageous and untamed and not bound by any one iconic definition. Someone once described Him as intimidating. And He was, with His wild mohawks, towering frame, angry tribal tattoos, piercings and dark-tinted sunglasses that hid His eyes from everyone. But once you got past His intimidating presence you realized He was this great big incredibly loving teddy bear. Behind those sun-glasses were the kindest, most loving, understanding blue eyes. Underneath all the tattoos, muscles, piercings, was a heart of pure love and joy. I miss my Bear, still. I miss Him everyday. My once in-a-lifetime love.

~sierra
forever HIS kitty

Dreams end

2009-11-23T06:31:00.001-05:00

The morning light filtered through the windows into the silent room. The cheerful illumination starke contrast to the shadows in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, a vain attempt to block out the screaming of protest to her heart she knelt, dropping slowly to her knees as she had so many times before, so many happy times. Her bottom rested snuggly between her heals, her toes pointed parallel to the floor, her shoulders pulled back caused a graceful arch to her back. Reverent. Respectful. Silent. Sorrowful. Hesitantly her hand traced the delicate metal around her neck as to commit the intricate pattern to memory; a needless action for the cool metal had long since burned its place into her soul. A burn much stronger than the sting behind her eyelids.

Letting her chin drop and her long curls fall to the side over her shoulder she reached behind her to unlock the clasp. The opening "click" so silent she was sure it was only her imagination that made the sound seem like the slamming of steel door. Or perhaps the slamming was the sound of her heartbeat, the irratic pulse as it rushed in her ears. She opened her eyes to try to ease the fire and focus on the floor, a small patch of carpet just before his feet.

He shifted His weight impatiently.

It was time.

Her hands began to tremble noticably as she removed the collar from her neck. Leaning forward she placed the beautiful symbolism of her love and ownership on the very spot of carpet at which she had been staring.

One tear fell, absorbed by the fabric of the plush carpet. Gone. Disappeared as if it had never existed. Just like the dissolution of her dreams. Her heart stopped. There was no pounding, no rhythm, no whooshing. There was complete silence and she had to consciously remind herself to the breathe. The pain was ripping and jagged, it tore through her chest into her very soul and she couldn't control the tears any longer. With one quick gesture she removed the ring from her left ring finger nearly dropping it from the tremor of her hands. She didn't even look at it. She didn't need to. She knew the pattern, the cut and design of the metal shaped into tiny leaves supporting a diamond flower. She'd never forget. As she set the ring in the exact center of the empty collar her shoulders began to shake and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to silence any sound that would give her away.

She never looked up at Him. She never looked at His eyes. She knew seeing the the cold empitness there now where there once was warmth and love would be more than she could bear. Keeping her chin down and eyes closed in a poor attempt to hide her tears she rose to her feet with more strength than she actually felt.

He never said a word. He never moved. He never acknowledged her actions or seemed to notice her pain.

It was time.

It was over.

Turning, she walked away from her life, her dreams, her hope. Constricted and unyeilding her throat allowed her only one word, a choked whisper, "Goodbye."

(c) 11/23/2009 sierra sugar

and now for something completely different...

2009-04-15T18:16:00.001-04:00

she waits..., originally uploaded by snowtigress.

"He's making me happy, but i'm conflicted too because i feel so incredibly strong for Him."

This was a comment received to me from a friend of mine, someone relatively new and exploring her place in the lifestyle. What lifestyle? Well those of you that have known me for any length of time know that i am submissive. Those of you that don't know me please realize this, it is a lifestyle choice and one lived and experienced outside of the confines of Second Life. It is not a game. It is not a place to act out fantasies of bondage and abuse. But in fact the lifestyle to those that choose to live it, it's something so much more and at the very core of it has little to do with sex, bondage, pain, games, or anything you may have heard or witness in your time in SL. What you see there for the most part tends to be perpetuation of stereo types. There *are* many who live it outside of SL and use the realm of VR to enhance their experiences. *Those* are the people you need to watch for a hint at any truth in the lifestyle.

So we return to the quote from my friend who is experiencing perhaps her first real submissive feelings and relationship ever. She's seen the stereotypes. She's seen the velcro collars, where one is "bound" to one "Master" today and another tomorrow. That is not real. That is not even remotely close to real. There is no flippancy or frivolousness in a real Ds relationship. When one is truly submissive to one who is truly Dominant the bond between the two is nothing short of extraordinary. You can equate the bond to that of wedding vows, but even deeper. The level of trust, respect, and love go far beyond conventional relationships. It simply must for one to give up all of themselves to another. It simply must for one to benevolently accept the total protection and care of another. There simply must be unrestrained and uninhibited communication at all times between a Master and submissive. There *is* no other option.

So why is she feeling conflicted? Because everything she's seen tells her she's not supposed to care. Because everything she's seen in this amazing VR world in which we choose to spend our lives shows her that she isn't allowed to be loved. And because everything she's seen is in direct opposition to everything she is feeling. What she is feeling is real. It has no expectations. It has no boundaries other than what her and her new Dominant set for themselves. Each and every Ds relationship is unique and individual. The terms are set by the two hearts involved. Two hearts. Two minds. Two souls. That's right, BOTH get to equally contribute to what their relationship is going to be. Its not a dictatorship where the submissive gives up everything with no say and nothing in return. One does not command submission of another simply because one deems Him or Herself a Dominant. Submission is given as a gift of love and trust, just as Dominance is a gift of love and protection. Both are bound by respect of one to the other, total and complete honesty.

She is conflicted because her heart is involved yet everything she's seen tells her it shouldn't be. Everything she's seen tells her she should be detached, that she is property, owned and easily discarded. And everything she's seen is completely and totally wrong! Her heart SHOULD be involved. Her heart, her head, her soul, her body, and every single part of her. Just as every single part of Him should be involved. And by all outward signs and conversations both seem to be fully engaged on every level of this commitment and well on their way to a flourishing, fulfilling, and quite loving, healthy Ds relationship.

So my friend, do *not* be conflicted because your heart dictates what you feel. Do not be conflicted because He makes you happy. Do *not* be conflicted because He shows you tenderness, kindness, love, and compassion. These are all signs of a real, honest, caring, and tender Dominant. Cherish it! Revel in it! Enjoy it! Live it like no other around you. This is YOUR relationship. Make it what the two of you want for it to be and don't let others tell you it should be different. Don't let stereotypes around you convince you that this is "not the way its done". Only the two of you can determine the "way it is done" that is best for the two of you. Talk, share, communicate, love, feel, and most of all enjoy.

Questionable Accessories

2009-01-15T16:28:00.001-05:00

Optical Mouse, originally uploaded by snowtigress.

***DISCLAIMER: pet peeve rant below.***

I follow a few fashion blogs, ok well more than a few. Anyway, I've noticed a trend lately that has me shaking my head. A few years ago Nitty Gritty made these adorably fun little attachments for nekos. They made cute little house mice, optical (computer) mice, fish, fish skeletons, bird feathers, and a few other kitty themed items that we could appear to have gobbled. They were cute and playful, and most of all fit with what a cat might actually get caught doing.

Lately, I've noticed a steady stream of fashion bloggers posting pictures with avatars standing there with food hanging from their mouth. Most of them look as if it has been stuck to their bottom lip with super glue. I've seen pop tarts, lollipops, and even toast. I do get the essence of cute, but do we really walk around with food hanging out of our mouths? And that is more to the point of my post here. Not only have I seen pictures splashed all over the net with various morsels of food prominently featured precariously dangling from otherwise beautiful Avatar's bottom lips, I have actually seen people walking around the grid with these things. Just seems like bad manners. Maybe its just me.

We all have our own personal tastes, pun intended. But while I'm pictured playfully here with a mouse that I caught and ran away with (please note I made an effort to hide with my captured treasure in a tree), I wouldn't walk around with it rudely sticking out of my mouth. I'd finish my meal or hide my treat. And I would never be caught with sugary little pop tart stuck to my bottom lip, just as I would assume a non-feline creature would not walk around with a cat-nip filled toy in their mouth.

For those of you who find the sweet-filled pastry turned mouth adornments fashionable, photo worthy and posted on the high profile fashion blogs please note this is not a personal affront to you. Just an observation, quirk if you will, and isolated opinion of one little kitty trying to find her own individuality in this great big SL.

I Still Cry

2008-11-17T22:49:00.001-05:00

Butterfly Kisses Painting, originally uploaded by snowtigress.

I Still Cry

I`m making flowers out of paper
While darkness takes the afternoon
I know that they won`t last forever
But real ones fade away to soon

It`s just that I recall September
It`s just that I still hear your song
It`s just I can`t seem to remember
Forever more those days are gone

Chorus:
I still cry sometimes when I remember you
I still cry sometimes when I hear your name
I said goodbye and I know you`re alright now
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

I still cry sometimes when I rememeber you
I still cry sometimes when I hear your name
I said goodbye and I know you`re alright now
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

Intro to Modeling

2008-10-01T00:51:00.000-04:00

As 8pm SLT approached I found while I was slightly less apprehensive than I was during the Orientation I was still notably anxious about this first class. Who would be my classmates? Who would be the instructor? Would I fit in? Would I trip over my tail and fall flat on my nose in front of everyone? Luckily the latter of the list did not happen.

Our first night at the MODA Modeling school was spent in an intimate classroom around a cozy table discussing the core values MODA is built upon as well as a brief outline of what the course will entail. I found over all that everyone was pleasant, friendly, and very helpful. Still my only concern is my RL schedule interfering with the MODA class schedule. Thursday nights in particular may cause a conflict. But I'm going to stick it out and do my best to complete every class, every course, every assignment.

Its refreshing to be involved in something again. Its uplifting to have a goal and a purpose instead of the shadow of misdirection that I've wandered aimlessly under for the past year. My one hope is that with my change now that I still make Him happy and proud of me. Its His smile that watches over me that I hope to never cause to faulter.

Catwalk

2008-03-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

On a shopping spree with a dear friend of mine last night, Christine, she and I discovered that in all of SL Neko's tend to be highly over looked as models. Well, its something I've suspected for quite some time as I've wanted to get into modeling but as a devout and faithful Neko its proved a difficult to say the least. So what is it about ears and a tail that makes us so non-photogenic? Can't say its because of our skin as up until recently I've always worn a "normal" skin. Although Nomine has an absolutely fantabulous Neko tiger skin. Beeeea-u-tiful! Munch's new line of skins has THE best lip proportion and shape in SL in my opinion. But aside from how fabulous her skins are, what exactly is it about Neko's that designers shy away from in using us for their advertising campaign?

Now before anyone gets all upset I'm not sitting here throwing prejudice or segregation accusations. I honestly think its more a matter of misunderstand and fear of the unknown. I don't believe there is a great conspiracy out there to oust the Neko population from the SL modeling world. Neko's are used a good bit in cyberpunk and steampunk, even a touch of goth from time to time. But I'd love to see them used more and become more mainstream.

*gasps* Did I just say that? Why yes I did. There was a time when I was highly offended at the growing Neko population in SL. Being one of the first Neko's here 3 years ago it was frustrating to see such a boom in the growth of these hybrid cats. I was no longer unique, different, special. But, just like every hooman, or every furry, or elf, or dragon, every Neko has her own unique personality. Each of us are filled with playful quirks that stand us apart from each other. And it is these very playful traits that I feel would lend itself so well to the camera. And I think its time I figure out a way to open up the doors. I'm proud of my ears and tail and wish to show them off, and what better way than through the beauty and art of still photography and fashion.

After all aren't we the purrrrfect ones to walk the catwalk?

Memories of Him

2008-03-06T17:48:00.000-05:00

Reading through old LiveJournal posts i came across something i wrote for Thor, my Teddy Bear, way back in 2006 before we officially started dating. i knew even then how much i loved Him and what He meant to me and my life. Such a beautiful man with an amazing heart and passion. i miss Him still.

A Time For Us

10/21/06 12:17 am

*A Time For Us

There is a place I dream of
I can close my eyes and see it
It exists only in my mind
Yet has a warmth of reality
A place for us
Somewhere in between
Where miles vanish
And time has no meaning

There is a moment I long for
I can picture it so clearly
A desire so strong that it burns inside me
And feeds the flames of my passion for you
A moment for us
Time inbetween
the distance that divides us
Where hours have no meaning

A place for us
together alone
to tangle and touch
and to never let go
A time for us
Moments unending
of passion and tenderness
a dream worth living

There is a place I wish for
I tingle at the thought
A sensation so addicting
that to feel it would be to never let go
A place for us
Time extending infinitly
Wrapped up in your arms
in all the world no better place to be

A place for us
together alone
to tangle and touch
and to never let go
A time for us
Moments unending
of passion and tenderness
a dream worth living

There will be a time for us, if only in my dreams.

-karina
10/20/2006

*for someone so special it is impossible to put into words what my heart feels.

Basic Math not so basic

2008-03-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

20 designs, 18 boards.... HOW did that happen. I have the demos of the 2 missing designs as I showed them to friends and Sebastian told me to take one of each design to test and keep. Yet when the boards were delivered there were only 18. Now I have to wait until the next go round of board production, when ever THAT may be, to get the last 2 designs out for sales. And go figure, one of the designs was a remake from the original board line converted to fit onto sculptie, and it was one of the best selling designs.

*sigh*

This shop is going to be the cause of my insanity.

Oh well.

My Heart

2008-02-08T18:25:00.001-05:00

My Heart, originally uploaded by snowtigress.

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not
go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

The Tool....

2008-02-05T13:12:00.000-05:00

...has registered to surf. I also found out a sweet friend that I've known through the surfing community and who actually lives close by in RL married him in game. *shakes her head sadly*. I don't know whether to feel sorry for her or mad at him. Any one that is ever associated with him is ruined by reputation alone. *sighs* Oh well, there is not much I can do except keep my fingers crossed she doesn't get hurt too badly. And as far as the surfing competition at Monkeh Barrel, well, it should be interesting.

Ok, on to less negative things.

Being a part of the SLSA board of directors this season is very stressful. I know its something Thor wanted to do, but I don't think we ever truly anticipated the sport to grow to the size that it is now. There are so many changes that need to be made to accommodate the sheer number of people interested in competing. I honestly don't see that happening yet this season. Maybe, this season if enough people step up to help us we can lay the foundation for these changes and implement them by the start of next season. Already we have Ritch wanting to step up as a Director or Advisor. He is great at organizing, passionate, and has some really wonderful ideas. With Craig and Rani stepping down at the end of their term it'll be good having someone like Ritch to fill the vacancy. But for now we just work on getting the competition up at Monkeh Barrel, an Epic competition.

Monkeh Barrel is right across from my home on Heliopolis and also adjoining the Ambrosia sim which is where the new Misfit Surf Shop will be located. Hopefully, I can get the new shop up and built before the competition starts. Sebastian has been a tremendous help with finding blueprints for me and sending me an ungodly amount of textures to use. He still intimidates me some, The Mighty Sebastian, but little by little I'm learning that He can be a good friend. He's super smart and creative and is a good listener. Still has an imposing presence about Him, but all in all He's one of the nice ones. Remind me to thank Aries for telling me how silly I was to be scared of Him. Its what prompted me to open my mouth and want to be friends with Him (Sebastian).

So, enough rambling for now. More on Monkeh Barrel another day.

To a dear friend from long before SL

2008-01-26T21:31:00.001-05:00

Draek, originally uploaded by snowtigress.

Here are my hands, hold them when You stumble, use their strength to face Your fears.
Here are my shoulders, use them when You cry, soak them with Your tears.
Here are my ears, open up and release Your pain, i will always hear.
Here is my heart, giving, accepting, loving unconditionally, know there is one that truly cares.
Here is my friendship, call upon it when ever You need, for You i am always here.

Never forget, i am always here.

"You have always been a friend to me"

Well you and i
Were buddies
And weve been since we first met
Me any you
Well weve sure been through
Our share of laughter and regret

Lord knows weve had our bad days
And more than once weve disagreed
But youve always been a friend to me

You can be so stubborn
Theres times I think you just like to fight
And I hope and pray
I live to see a day
When you say I might be right

And theres times Id rather kill you
Than listen to your honesty
But youve always been a friend to me

Youve always been
Time and again
The one to take my hand
And show to me its okay to be
Just the way I am
With no apology

Oh youve always been
And you will till God knows when
Yes youve always been a friend to me

Maternity in Mourning

2008-01-25T20:48:00.001-05:00

Maternity in Mourning, originally uploaded by snowtigress.

Standing on the shores of forever i cry and whisper His name to the waves and the wind. Some day we'll be together again.

This picture was taken inside of SL the night before going into labor. I blogged earlier covering the whys and particulars of our decision to have an SL pregnancy and the decisions i made after losing Thor in RL.

A Journey Through SL Pregnancy

2007-11-15T15:38:00.000-05:00

Did you know that you could become pregnant in SL? I've known for quite some time and always laughed at it, until Thor. Actually, He and i both were of the mindset that it was silly and ridiculous to do such a thing in SL. But life, both Second and Real, has a way of making you eat your words.

After Thor and i were married in SL things changed for us on this particular issue. We had talked quite extensively in the past regarding our personal RL stance on children together, and the fact that i was unable to have any more. That really wasn't an issue between us, He was ok with that from the very start. What was an issue was that my earlier RL pregnancies were filled with complications and void of love and support. He wanted to change that, or rather change my memories and replace the old pain and painful with new happy and loving ones. Have i mentioned how wonderful of a man He was?

So we began to look around and see how things were done. The first thing we decided was that we wanted to take our time and find a way to do this in SL to most closely parallel RL. And we did. We found a couple different options. There are two conception HUDs in world that simulate a woman's ovulation cycle, fertility, and chances of becoming pregnant. One worked on a key phrase being typed repeatedly at certain times by the couple. The other... *blushes profusely* worked with xcite. Why do i blush? i've been in world over 2.5 years and in that time i maintained my SL virginity. It was simply not something i was interested in or really understood. Thor never pushed, but then we had RL. Even after our marriage it wasn't an issue. But now, to do this pregnancy correctly it was definitely an issue. Well, a hurdle i was going to have to over come.

This particular HUD used RL statistics. It took into account the ratio of a woman's chance to conceive after intercourse, her ovulation cycle, fertility, birth control, % to fail, etc.. It even considered such things as sexual climax and where on/in the body it occurred. Obviously in RL certain types of intercourse would not result in pregnancy. It was all rather fascinating and technical, but was exactly what we were looking for. So off He drags me to xcite. That was an experience for another blog, lol. But needless to say we acquired all the items we needed for my first foray into very adult side of SL as well as the needed xcite HUD to interact with the conception HUD for me to be able to "conceive" a child.

I read all the instructions thoroughly. Configured everything precisely. Chose not to use the birth control option, after all we were TRYING to become pregnant. Again, the rest of that part is personal and private. But i will say this much about my SL husband and RL soul mate. That first experience, knowing how uneasy and nervous i was going to be, He took every step to make things comfortable, peaceful, relaxing, and yes as silly as it might sound to some of you very very romantic.

We didn't tell anyone of our plans. We wanted to wait. And we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Well, there was lots of trying mixed in with the waiting of course. It took about 6 weeks to conceive, which is an eternity in SL. And felt like an eternity in RL too. Funny when you want something so badly the waiting for it seems to take forever. But on August 19th the pregnancy test read positive. I had finally conceived. YAY! We were so excited. I think we were both crying. The whole process had become one of deep emotion, self exploration and healing.

Next was the actual pregnancy and birth. Now over the course of my pregnancy i've gotten a lot of questions from friends and strangers on how all this works. So i thought i should share a few technical details here. An AV does not actually become "pregnant". It is not a spontaneous occurrence. It is not scripted in the programming of basic SL as a form of AI. There is no real SL reproduction as far as AVs are concerned. The entire pregnancy from beginning to end, how ever the couple/individual decides to go about it, is completely role play supported by scripts, props, HUDs, etc.

A woman's (or neko, furry, dragon, vamp, male, etc..) growing belly during pregnancy is nothing more than a change of shape. A series of custom shapes are made for the expectant mother to wear. She changes one each week for the duration of her pregnancy. There is a "talking tummy" which lets the mother experience things such as cravings, "feeling" the baby move, hearing the heartbeat, and yes even morning sickness. It also allows the mother and others to talk to the growing baby, read to him/her, sing, etc... And would you believe this "tummy", which is nothing more than an intricately scripted invisible prim a mother wears throughout the duration of her pregnancy is ALSO xcite compatible. It offers things like allowing the spouse to rub the tummy, give massages, and more goodies that i will let an expectant couple discover on their own.

The baby, is a prim baby. A couple goes to a maternity clinic and places an order for a custom designed baby. They can specify name, gender, hair color and style, eye color, skin tone. They can even add things such as ears and tail, fangs, wings, make it completely furry, a dragon, a mermaid, or what ever species the parents may themselves be. The more complex the customization naturally the longer it takes to make the baby. At the clinic the mother will order her custom baby, order her custom pregnancy shapes, schedule her check up exam (yes they DO weigh you), and schedule her delivery. The delivery is role play with specific animations, and the detail of the role play is highly dependent on the delivering mother/couple and how much they want to submerse themselves in the role play. Once the baby is "born" it comes with an interactive HUD to take care of the child, feed the child, sing, rock, change, bathe, etc.. The clothes and colors of the outfits can even be changed by the HUD interface.

The average SL pregnancy lasts 2-6 weeks. Thor and i, again wanting to parallel this as close to RL as possible chose a much longer gestation at 3months. Never did i ever imagine in starting this that i would end up a widow and a single mother in SL. Never did i once suspect that i would finish this pregnancy on my own, without Him. He was my soul mate, my forever. There was no drama big enough in SL or RL to ever break us up. After His RL death i could have stopped the pregnancy. Canceled the order. Put my original shape back on and be done with it. But you can't just do that in RL. And, this was something He was so excited about. Something that He wanted so much.

So, on November 19, an anniversary date for us (we started dating on the 19th, we got married on the 19th, we conceived on the 19th) our child, a little girl that's part neko will be born. Kaylia Ciana Bishop, her name a combination of both mine and Thor's RL names and the middle name a part of a dear SL friend. Her name was chosen by the two of us, together, shortly after conception.

This particular journey has been one of love, tenderness, joy, self discovery, and healing, as well as tremendous loss, sorrow, and pain. The pregnancy itself may not be real, but the emotions behind it most definitely are. This was not a whim, a flippant decision, but rather a deep emotional commitment between the two of us to share something together that RL would not allow.

As always, i love You, Baby. You will always be in my heart and memories. And i still have the picture and notecard of You reading Your silly fairytales to her. If anyone ever tries to say You were intimidating, a hardass, etc... well, i have picture positive proof otherwise. *grins* i love You so much!

sierra sugar
~in loving memory~

For more information on SL pregnancy, programs, pricing, etc. visit Bundle of Joy, in Schweet. It is by far the best and most thorough clinic in all of SL. SLURL included below.
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Schweet/44/221/63

~In Loving Memory~

2007-10-25T16:02:00.001-04:00

~In Loving Memory of Thor Bishop~

The past couple of weeks have been the hardest in my entire life. On the morning of Tuesday October 9th, my love, my heart, my everything, passed away. Thor Bishop, 38 years old in real life, stopped breathing in His sleep due to complications with pneumonia. Stubborn as He was He wouldn't go to the doctor despite repeated begging from myself and family. "Its just a cold".

Thor was more than just my SL husband. He was my real life boyfriend. He was my entire world. He was and always will be my once in a lifetime. How does one go one when all of that is taken away? Trust me, I don't know. Every day is filled with tears, anger, sorrow, confusion. I'm lost without Him. There are so many things we wanted to do together. Together we experienced so many "firsts" for each of us, but there were many many more that we were looking forward to.

He is the only many to ever send me flowers. And not just holiday/birthday flowers, they were "just because I love you" flowers. He remembered all the important dates. He always remembered all the little things. He told me He loved me constantly, 20, 30, 40 times a day sometimes. It ALWAYS made me smile. I never got tired of hearing it. And what I wouldn't give to hear it just one more time. What I wouldn't give to tell Him I love Him just one more time. No one has ever made me feel as loved and as protected and wanted as He did. He was my best friend, my boyfriend, my confidant, my protector, and so much more.

Anyone who ever met Thor walked away with a smile. He had a way about Him that put people at ease and made them laugh. He poked fun at everyone and everything. No one was safe, not even Himself. And another thing that was never safe was an empty pose ball. Let a couple be dancing and the girl crash... LOL, I have so many pictures of Him cuddled up dancing with some poor unsuspecting guy. Well, not exactly unsuspecting. Anyone that knew Him knew to expect it. It was a joke amongst us all. And never.... ever dare Him to do something. Because you would loose. He would do it in a heartbeat. Didn't matter what. Whether it was singing an embarssing song, dressing like a girl, wearing a bikini. Didn't matter. Loud, obnoxious, crazy, funny, but oh so lovable. He would give the shirt off His back, if He was wearing one, to help His friends. He had a way of walking into a crowd and instantly commanding everyone's attention without even trying. He could diffuse a situation effortlessly with laughter. He was a bundle of mischevious energy. That little boy that everyone loved. He loved to play the badass, but everyone knew He was a softy inside. Yet He'd tell me "shhh baby, you'll ruin my reputation".

And what a reputation He had. He was a leader in the surf community, a pioneer. He was a master at His trade, that being a DJ. He was creative, thoughtful, insightful, articulate when He needed to be, even diplomatic. People would tease Him saying i was His better half. But the absolute truth of it is that HE was MY better half.

My biggest fear is that i may have failed to show Him how completely i loved Him. That He didn't really know how much He meant to me. That there was ever a moments doubt in His mind and heart. I pray each day that is not the case. That He did know. That i didn't fail Him. That the love i have for Him showed just as plainly as the love He had for me.

There are so many Thor stories i could share. So many memories over the course of a year and half, which is a lifetime in SL. So many plans we had for the future. Our relationship transcended SL. We did meet in RL and were planning a RL future together. And without Him i feel lost both in SL and RL. And while those stories may come a little at a time in the future, for now I will simply share a poem. Something special for Him, the absolute one and true love of my life.

Thor, Teddy, my bear... i love you now and always, for the rest of my life.

Somewhere the rain is falling down and I think of you

The pitter pat of droplets on a window pane
the rumble of thunder as lightening flashes
Life itself drinking in the refreshing heavenly tears
And as the rain falls down I think of you

Somewhere the wind blows through the trees and I dream of you

Whispering softly through the leaves
Flowers sway and dance to the cooling breeze
The breath of the heavens breathing life upon this place And the wind blows softly as I dream of you

Somewhere a bright star sparkles and I wish for you

The silence of night sheltering the earth
a thousand points of light dazzling a blanket of pitch Eternity twinkles allowing distance and time to see together And as a shooting star sparkles I wish for you.

~sierra sugar~

The Sweet Life of Sierra Sugar

2007-10-06T22:46:00.000-04:00

*wavies*

Hello everyone who knows me and to those as well who may not. In Second Life I am known as Sierra Sugar. I've had other various names in different games, most of which have some form of "snow" in them, so hello to those of you who know me as "Snow". However while this journal may occassionally make mention of other games, it creation and purpose is for my thoughts and experiences throughout Second Life. I've wanted to create a Second Life Blog/Journal for some time now and finally got around to it.

What is Second Life, you ask? Well if you are asking that you obviously have not been IN Second Life or spent a lot of time talking with me over the past 2.5 years. In a nutshell, Second Life is a Metaverse, and online community similar to such places as "There" and "The Sims Online". However, over the course of 3+ years SL has developed into so much more. It is a ground breaking metaverse incorporating not only socialization and gaming, but creativity, entrupeneurship, business, education, and even an online economy to millions of people all over the world.

This blog will express my thoughts, comments, experiences, as well as tips and tricks on SL. Over the course of almost 3 years in SL I have experienced a multitude of things and its time I share with those of you who may be "newbies". So sit back, relax, have plenty Dr. Pepper at hand, and enjoy SL Life... the Sweet Life of Sierra Sugar.