Thursday, December 23, 2010

I am me

I don't apologize for who I am anymore!

I feel...everything.  I laugh and I love with my whole heart.  I cry real tears, often.  I get angry.  I get hurt.  I stumble and fall.  I make mistakes and try again.  I'm intelligent but not genius.  I'm talented but not gifted.  I'm flirty but reserved.  I stick my foot in my mouth regularly.  I am never intentionally cruel or hurtful.  I have a knack for missing the obvious.  I crave attention and tend to smother people in return.  I am broken but still trying.  I am strong but still struggling.  Even in my darkest moments I still hope.

Love me, leave, me, want me or hate me.  I really don't care anymore.  I am me.  I am real.  And I do not apologize for the person that I am.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Gift for Everyone

It's the holiday season and we all like to be able to give and receive presents. Over the years more and more content creators have followed the trend of making items "No Trans" which makes gifting difficult. Sure many stores offer the "buy now as a gift" options which allows you to purchase and have the item sent directly to the person at that moment. But its not the same as buying a gift, wrapping it up and giving it to the certain someone at a specific time, date, place, and setting of your choosing to make the moment special.

With this in mind I decided to compile a list of stores in Second Life that still offer transferable items, or at the very least have a Gift Card system. This will be a running list of all types of stores from clothing, hair, skins, poses, furniture, etc... That I will update regularly. Gifting isn't just for Christmas. Its great for birthdays, rez days, valentines day, anniversaries, and the always wonderful "just because".

Continue to check here for store updates. Or visit eMOTIONS and JJ Lanes">JJ Lanes Furniture in world at the SL Gifts Kiosk to get the current notecard with landmarks.

If you have or know of a store that offers transfer items or gift cards, or if a store on the list changes their location, please reply here or send me a notecard in world with the information.

2010 HOLIDAY SPECIALS

Twisted Krissmuss Holiday Hunt: 200+ Stores offering a specialty item that is +Trans and only 100L
Starting Dec 4th, you can swing by Twisted Krissmuss HQ and pick up:
— A guide book
— LMs to over 200 participating merchants
— A few little holiday goodies for you
— An invite to the group (easiest to get info that way)
— And possibly other cool things. ;)

ACCESSORIES

Accessories by Eolande: +Trans & Gift Cards

APPAREL

aDiva: +Trans
Alphamale: +Trans & Gift Cards
BareRose (B@R): +Trans
Basics: +Trans
     BLOG:  http://basics.ashleighdickins.com
Blacklace: +Trans & Gift Cards
BlakOpal Design: Gift Cards
Calla: +Trans (must request +Trans from TigerLily Koi)
Clio: +Trans
BLOG: http://cliosmessyroom.blogspot.com
Courtisan Silks: +Trans
DARE DESIGNS: +Trans
Blog: http://newsfromtheloft.wordpress.com/
+DV8+: Gift Cards
HTC: Gift Cards
HUDSON'S: +Trans
INSOLENCE: +Trans
Kismet: Gift Cards

MaiMai
: Gift Cards
PajamaRama: +Trans
PomPomPom (formerly *evie's*): +trans
     BLOG:  http://pompompomstoreblog.wordpress.com/
QQ Fashion: +Trans
R:A:D: Gift Cards
Ravenwear: + : +Trans & Gift Cards
Rfrye
: +Trans & Gift Cards
Sage Fashion: Gift Card
Sascha's: +Trans & Gift Cards
~Scribble~: +Trans
SF Design: Gift Cards
Blog: http://sfd-secondlife.blogspot.com/
Shiki Design: Gift Card
Blog: http://shikidesign.blogspot.com
Sn@tch: +Trans
Solange: Gift Cards
BLOG: http://www.solangefashions.blogspot.com/
Somnia: Gift Cards
SySy's: Gift Cards (also has limited holiday items that are +Trans)
Blog: http://sydesigns.blogspot.com
TempT: +Trans
The Curious Seemstress:  +Trans
     BLOG:  http://gwd-greenwooddesigns.blogspot.com/


Artwork

Laval Photography Gallery: +Trans
Virtual Alchemy Photography :+Trans (on first floor only)

Baby

Breedables

*all Breedable animals are transferable. The food/stat items are usually not.
Only the MAINSTORE for the original creator of each breedable type will be listed. There are many in-world groups for breeders's stores, auctions, etc.

Ozimals (Bunnies)
(Chickens)
(Horses)
(Kitties)
(Lizards)
(Quail)
(Turtles)

Christmas

HUDSON'S: +Trans
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards
Laval Christmas Shop: +Trans

DISCOUNTED, FREE & FOR NEWBIES

DARE DESIGNS NEWBPOCALYPSE

Blog: http://newsfromtheloft.wordpress.com/


EYES


FOOD & DRINKS

THE FOODING: +Trans


FURNITURE

AA Garden Center: +Trans
DAMNED GOOD DESIGN: +Trans
EarthDwellings: +Trans
HUDSON'S: +Trans
JJ Lanes">JJ Lanes: Gift Cards
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards
Tiki Tattoo: +Trans
::WetCat:: Builds&Poses: +Trans

HAIR

Alli&Ali Designs
: Gift Boxes (UNopened - rez on ground, recipient clicks the TOP of the gift box to receive item.)
Blog: http://www.allialidesigns.com/
Calla: Gift Cards (for both Men's & Women's Hair)


Homes, Buildings, Structures

JJ Lanes Prefab Homes: Gift Cards
Kismet: +Trans & Gift Cards

Jewelry

Carolina Jewelry: Gift Cards (IM owner and she will make any requested item +trans for purchase)
BLOG: www.capollo.blogspot.com
EarthStones: +Trans & Gift Cards


LANDSCAPING

Botanical: +Trans

**forest feast**
: +Trans
Heart Garden: +Trans
Tiki Tattoo: +Trans


Maternity


Misc

Happy Mood: +Trans
Mechanized Life (FilterCam, MachimaCam): Gift Cards
Blog: http://www.mechanizedlife.com/
~Scribble~: +Trans
*~Zanzibar creationZ~* (costumes, facepaint, unique items): +Trans


NEKO ACCESSORIES


Pets & Animals (NOT BREEDABLES)

AKK Horse Ranch: +Trans
VKC Dogs: +Trans
X Fusion (mean little kitty, puppeteer): +Trans


POSES and ANIMATIONS

Boudoir Rouge
BeScene Poses: Gift Cards
eMOTIONS: +Trans
Blog: http://emotions-byskc.blogspot.com/
Props-N-Poses: +Trans
.:S:. Stance Poses & Props: Gift Cards
+Studio Sidhe+: Gift Cards


SHOES

AVA CHOO Fantastic Footwear: Gift Cards


SKIN


Textures

Kismet: Gift Cards
Laval Christmas Shop: +Trans

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas


Christmas2010a, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Where I come from in Real Life we have seasons such as "Summer", "August", "Hot" and "February" (where we get a slight reprieve from the heat and humidity). So Fall and Winter in Second Life for me are the most enjoyable. I love to see Sim landscaping change with the seasons. I love how all the stores fashions reflect the colder weather of wintry climates. I love the warm fuzzy sweaters and boots of all varieties. And I love to decorate for the holidays with all the little pretties I find around the grid.

Second Life is a great big play ground of amazing possibilities, fantastical creations, and imagination without boundaries. So as I sit here sipping hot chocolate in my house cooled to a comfortable 70 degrees thanks to the modern luxury of air conditioning, I decorate my home Sim for Christmas. Caribbean Islands are not known for their blustery winters and snow days, so I build up in the sky. SL is great for defying the laws of physics too! In my little skybox I'm able to create a cozy snowy scene complete with frozen pond, frost covered evergreens, and a cute little wooden cabin.

I string some paper snowflakes across the doorway and hang a pretty wreath on the wall. A simple Christmas tree with its twinkling lights brings a touch of festive cheer. As I sit all warm and cozy inside my cabin I can look out on my perfect little winter scene and smile. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Skin: [PXL] - Kasumi SK RoseLips P
Makeup: [PXL] - Kasumi SK Smoke Eyes
Lashes: MaiMai - No Alpha Lashes N01
Hair: Damselfly - Whiskey in Ruby Twilight Blend
Eyes: Poetic Colors - Poison Ivy
Ears: *Dreams* - Tied with a Bow Snowy White Ears
sweater: !BDC FIRESIDE FAWN SWEATER MINI
Cabin: {what next} - Nordic Cabin
Photo Credits: *SKC* Photography

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Still Waters

They say still waters run deep.
The surface smooth. The surface calm.
But what you don't see below is the force of those waters, swift and strong. At times a veritable maelstrom of movement below surface warmth. Pushing and pulling from within, and surrounding anyone who manages to find their way inside.

They say still waters run deep.
And there is much more than what is seen reflected back to you. But for most the surface is all they will ever see. It may not always be a peaceful place. But it is my place.

They say still waters run deep. And if you're not afraid to look, you may just find me there. (c) 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A little bit of sugar

Reposting this from a recent Surf Watch entry, check out the full article Here. One little, very little, kitty DJ was spotted doing a unique spin on the decks.



And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the waters...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Two Three Six Five - Sierra Sugar

Earlier in the year I was recommended by Callie Cline to the Two Three Six Five blog and they asked me if I would like to write. The Second Life Two Three Six Five is the SL version of the RL blog of similar namesake. After reading over the project and comparing the SL and RL blogs I was ecstatic to be included in this project. And of course the date that naturally came to mind for me to write about was 10/09/2010, a significant day to those that knew me.

Little did I realize the changes life would take over the past year and how it would effect my writing (and personal life) in a way I never imagined. If you haven't already been following this blog do go and check it out Here. If you've liked what I said please leave a comment. All feedback on anything I write is always most welcomed.

~Sierra Sugar

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Argument in favor of a Private Tutor (Another "Big Fish")

"You know before they'll let you live up here you have to pass Yankee School."

This is what he tells me. "Yankee School", an indoctrination into the ways of being a Yankee. Apparently, Southerners cannot legally become a citizen of the Island unless they pass this secretive training camp. And just WHERE is this all-important Yankee School located?

"Yankee Stadium. You'll have to go there for two weeks."

I can feel my heart pounding and the faint tingling of a burn in my eyes. Two weeks?! How am I ever going to survive two weeks in Yankee Stadium all by myself, well all by myself with presumably hundreds of other potential Yankee wanna-bes, or possibly-bees, or how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-here-bees people? It was time for some serious action and negotiating.

The law says I have to pass Yankee School to live there, but it doesn't say I *have* to go to Yankee Stadium. That's just the most common and largest gathering place to convert, I mean teach unknowing Southerner's about the mysterious ways of the North, including their clipped, edgy vowel sounding vocabulary. What if I had a private tutor? What if he was my private tutor? Surely there is precedence for that.

He’s being stubborn. Or coy? Or perhaps playful? “I dunno. Why do you need a private tutor?” He asks.

Oh why indeed. *puts on her most innocent and sincere game face and commences with the powers of negotiation*

Throughout history there have been distinct fashion differences between the North and the South. One has only to watch the transformation of Michelle Pfieffer in the movie “Up Close & Personal” when she moves from South Florida to a news station in the North to realize that there are still distinct differences in acceptable attire for specific roles. And is not a “school girl” a specific role? I believe it is. And thus my argument in favor of a private tutor is that coming from Florida I have only the proper attire for a Florida School Girl and not a Yankee School Girl. It would be unacceptable, inappropriate, and possibly illegal for me to venture out to Yankee Stadium dressed in such clothing. Therefore requiring me to have a private tutor for the duration of my “Yankee School.”


Exhibit A – Proper Yankee School Girl


Yankee School Girl


Skin: Curio – Sunkissed Elf Light Freckles Snug 1
Hair: Truth – Lillian in Blood
Eyes: Poetic Color – Poison Ivy
Shirt: SF Designs Flexi Tie in Ruby
Tie: SF Designs Fair Isle Vest and Short Sleeved Shirt in Gray
Skirt: *Last Call* Hunt Club – The Baroness in Blood
Stockings: Deviance Flirt Stockings (From the Deviance Flirtatious outfit)
Shoes: Vignette – Toasties in Soil
Ears: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Pose: [LAP] Spice – Back to the Wall
Desk: Basic Desk v3
Bookshelf: RFD - Biedermeier Book Cabinet
Laptop: PixelTrix Laptop 1.33 - White


Exhibit B – Typical Florida School Girl


Florida School Girl


Skin: PXL – Lt NE Rose with Light Eyebrow
Hair: Truth – Ashlin in Blood
Eyes: Poetic Color – Poison Ivy
Shirt: B@R - Kar shirt in white
Tie: B@R - Kar pink tie
Pants: Branded – Denim Rolled Shorts
Shoes: N-Core – High School ExtremeHeel in Black
Ears: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Tail: *Dreams* Snowy White - Tied with a Bow
Pose: eMOTIONS - Aloof
Backpack: SF Designs – Puppy Backpack
Window seat: Second Spaces - Camille Window Seat w/accessories (Down the Chimney Hunt Prize)


Hopefully I've presented a strong enough case to win him over and have him be my private tutor. A poor Florida kitty wouldn't survive a day, much less two weeks in the chilling New York climate and harsh fashion critical eyes.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I am beautiful!


Beautiful 2, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.


"You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose weight."


I don't know how many times I heard that when I was growing up. I was in the 6th grade the first time I was put on a diet. Seriously! I remember I was 4'6" tall, 99lbs, in gymnastics and a tomboy playing baseball, swimming, dirt bike riding, lifting weights, and other activities and I was put on a diet. I learned to dress to hide my body as it filled out through puberty. I walked with my head down. I kept to myself. I stopped participating in group activities. And I did everything to undermine the various forms of diets over the years.


I had a serious problem with starvation and binging. I refused to eat where anyone could see me. When I finally was old enough to drive I'd stop on the way home and get something to eat and hide the evidence, feign being full at the dinner table and snack on unhealthy goodies hidden in my room at night. My senior year in high school I was 120lbs and too embarrassed to take my shirt off at the beach or pool and reveal my bathing-suit clad "ugly" body I was now convinced I had. After all, how many times can one hear "If you'd only lose weight you'd be pretty" before it sinks in that you're NOT pretty. At age seventeen I attempted suicide. It was a serious attempt and I was only saved as a close friend was worried about me at school that day and stopped by unexpectedly and called an ambulance.


Fate intervened, but it didn't remove the self-depreciation I had for myself. I could look at others around me and see their beauty, but I could never see my own. No one person or source is responsible. It comes from home, from peer pressure, from doctors, from media, from every angle imaginable. No wonder teens and adults alike suffer from depression over the stress of trying to fit in, to be the right shape. I spent all of my teenage and adult years hiding, believing I'm never good enough. I'm not good enough because I'm not pretty enough. And I'm not pretty enough because I'm not thin enough. This is what I was lead to believe as a young teenage girl. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see me. I saw the image that was planted in my head.



Over the years I've continued to struggle with my weight. Life, pregnancy, and stress all contributed to my unhealthy habits. I've tried to find different ways to both fit in and hide at the same time. It has taken me a very long time to even begin to realize is, there IS no "right" shape. Physical appearances change and fade over time. We all, every single human on the planet ages. We all will grow old. We all will gray eventually or lose our hair. But while the outside changes dramatically over time, who we are inside remains essentially the same. That is where the true beauty lies. That you cannot cover up with make up, or change with surgery, or hide with pretty clothes. Our smiles, our eyes, our words, and our love tells the tale of who we are truly. That is the beauty we share with others. That is the beauty that cannot be reflected in any mirror, but rather is reflected in the eyes of those that love us, all of who we are in and out.


No one is perfect. Every single one of us is full of various imperfections that make us beautifully perfect. And while we all are different, we all ARE beautiful. So, it doesn't matter what shape you see when you look in the mirror, remember you are beautiful.


Say it with me. "I am beautiful!"




~sierra

-------------------------------



Carra Fargis created the tank tops featured in my blog post as a fight against suicide. She states she had a friend suffer from and eventually die as a consequence of an eating disorder. You can find her shirts and message on Xstreet HERE



I'd also like to thank a friend from SL and Plurk, Winter Jefferson, for making a Plurk about these very shirts and bringing it my my attention.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Three Days (parts 1 and 2)

PREFACE

I will be posting a series of blog posts tagged as "Big Fish". I'd like to thank someone special to my heart, Cole, for helping to bring a spark of creativity back to my writing. These posts are loosely based in idea only off a film we saw together called "Big Fish" featuring an all-star cast to include Ewan McGreggor and Danny DeVito. If you've not seen the movie, you absolutely must. It has become something I identify closely with, and anyone who has ever spent time in Second Life and has memories there, then you too have your own Big Fish.

Our Avatars are an extension of our personalities and the experiences we have in Second Life through our avatar become part of our real memories. These adventures in a virtual world while entirely "real" (in a sense) to us are nothing more than Big Fish stories to other who have not had the joy of such an incredible and immersive world. I hope you all enjoy my personal Big Fish and have many of your own to look back and smile on.


((This is not our first Big Fish story we've created together. Earlier ones were based entirely on SL experiences. Having made the decision to meet in Real Life we started working on a future Big Fish story about that up-coming meeting as a way to relieve some of the anxiety of this huge step.

Written by my through his perspective.))

-Part 1-

As I lined up with the rest of the Lemmings to leave the plane I realized just how sleepy I really was. It had been a long sleepless night. I’d glance at the clock thinking hours had passed and surely it would be time to get up, only to find the clock minute hand had only moved an agonizing half an inch. It felt like it was going to take a lifetime for those three days to finally arrive.

Three days. It seemed like a decent amount of time when we were making plans. But now that everything was moving in fast-forward, even with my fatigue induced fog, three days seemed like only a blink of an eye. How is it that time can be so elastic? How can it can it be allowed to shift speed leaving the innocent party to stumble along trying to keep up? Time, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor.

Someone cleared their throat and I realized the Lemmings were finally shuffling their feet forward, so I followed suit. One foot in front of the other that felt both agonizingly slow and far too fast at the same time. Would she be waiting for me? Would she recognize me? Would I recognize her? And then what?

That was the big question we both feared, the what next part. And now that the answer was so close I could almost taste it, along with the stale airplane air that clung to my tongue, I was suddenly unsure. I had to readjust the grip of my duffle bag to keep it from slipping from my moist palm. At least I didn’t have to worry about the airline losing my luggage this trip as I chose to carry everything with me in one carry-on bag. Everything I’d need for a weekend fit neatly into one carry-on. One weekend, three days, and I cursed time as I finally stepped off the plane into the terminal.

Sunny Florida. The plane arrived on time touching down at exactly 11:25am. A few minutes to taxi, another couple minutes to disembark the plan, and I was suddenly submerged in a sea of bright sunbeams streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the terminal. Pulling my sunglasses from my pocket I quickly slipped them on to help ease the pain from the glaring bright light. It was a warm happy scene, but my eyes were just too tired for the radiating brightness.

No longer having to squint I could finally see where the other Lemmings went, so I adjusted my duffle bag one more time and followed them out of the terminal to the main area. That’s where she said she’d meet me. Was it really that much warmer here already, I thought shifting my duffle bag finally to my other hand and wiping the clamminess of my palm onto my pants.

It wasn’t quite as bright in here so I was able to take off the sunglasses. Looking around I could see that I wasn’t the only shell-shocked traveler unsure of where to proceed next. There was a tall square pillar just at the edge of what appeared to be a solarium so I leaned casually against it and let my bag drop to my feet. That looked casual right? Did Florida have a wattage control for their sun down here? Above the center of the solarium sunlight didn’t just stream lazily down, it burst through the glass roof with a force I wouldn’t have believed possible. Even the dust in the air was swirling and dancing in the light, animated by the intensity of the beams.

The light was definitely doing something to wake me up. More alert I slowly scanned the entire opening. She wasn’t here. Yet. I reminded myself to add yet to my thoughts. Jacksonville’s a big city; maybe she’s caught up in traffic? Maybe she was delayed getting away from home? No, she’s not here yet. Maybe in a few more minutes? I glanced at my wrist, my bare wrist, and shook my head. Right, I was supposed to get another watch last week. Instead of counting the minutes on my would-be watch, I counted the travelers walking by.

I took more notice now realizing not all were Lemmings. Oh there were many Lemmings around to be sure, but that one there, in the bright sundress and sandals, a light step to her gait, a purse and small carry on, she was eager to get to her destination. Happy even. Was she headed out for a weekend such as mine? And those two there, the man in the crisp Navy uniform and the pretty little girl holding his hand, sadness and tangible longing in the way they looked at each other. This was a sad goodbye. I shook my head, I didn’t want to think about sad goodbyes. I sighed. Three days.

Shifting my weight to my other leg I realized my foot had fallen asleep. Where was she? What time was it? Leaning over to grab my duffle bag I pushed away from the pillar with a purpose now. My own stride was a little awkward, as my half-asleep foot seemed to have a mind of its own. But I needed to find a clock. There, just over LDC display of flight arrivals and departures was the time. What? Wait! That can’t be right. How was it suddenly 3pm? Impossible! I turned and walked to the gift shop.

“Excuse me. Can you tell me the time, please?” I asked the kid behind the counter. He appeared to be in high school, but obviously coordinated enough to not only work but also remember to wear a watch. I shook my wrist is agitation.

“Five minutes after three.” He informed me. My face must have been a sight. I could feel the emotions start to take form on my face then change before fully developed and move onto another emotion, morphing several times before settling into utter and complete confusion. “Is something wrong?” The kid asked.

Smile.

My defense mechanism from years of keeping people from knowing what’s really going on in my head. I just smiled. “Can I get a newspaper?” The kid handed me the current daily edition of USA Today, of course. Paying for my paper I walked to an unoccupied row of cushioned benches and found a seat in the back out of the way. Sure I could call her, I thought to myself spying the pay phones and suddenly remembering the cell phone in my pocket, turned off for the flight. But if she was standing me up why give her the satisfaction? No, I’d wait it out. Soon as I calmed down I go to the ticket counter and change my return flight to the next flight home today.

Snapping the paper open my thoughts were stopped in their tracks.

Thursday, July 8, 2010.

Thursday.

July 8th.

Not July 9th.

I felt myself getting a little light headed and took deep breath sucking in the air suddenly realizing I had been holding my breath. I’m a full day early. No wonder she isn’t here. She didn’t stand me up. She’ll be here, in 20 hours, but she’ll be here! The paper in my hand drooped.

HOW had I managed to get on the wrong flight, the flight leaving a whole day earlier? How was that possible? What type of incompetent staff did the airlines employ these days? Hadn’t they cracked down on all that after 911? Why didn’t someone say “Sir, you’re here a day early. You’re flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”? And I had to fly home in three.. no four days under the care of these same people? Maybe I’ll rent a car. I pulled my boarding pass from my pocket ready to head to the ticket counter to make a scene when my legs froze half way up out of the bench. I stood frozen there for half a second before collapsing back onto the bench. I rubbed my eyes, looked again, and then let out a deep sigh.

Departure Date: Thursday July 8, 2010 LaGuardia Airport
Arrival Date: Thursday July 8, 2010 Jacksonville International Airport

Right there in black and white. I’d booked the wrong flight. My mind, so eager to get down here had subconsciously picked an earlier day to leave and it never registered consciously. So here I am, in Florida, a day early. A day early! No longer Three days but FOUR! Smiling broadly I reached for my cell phone powering it on. Then immediately powered it back off and slipped it back into my pocket. No, I couldn’t call her. She told me she had a million things to do to get ready. Besides, she couldn’t just run out unscheduled. She had a patient to take care of, to coordinate her schedule around. I sighed again. No, I would just wait it out here and tomorrow she and I would have a good laugh. I sat back on the bench, opening the paper again, only this time without the previous annoyance. What’s going on in the rest of the world today?

©2010


-part 2-

“Did he stop breathing?”

“Is he dead?”

“If he’s dead can I have his watch?”

“He’s not dead and he’s not wearing a watch, you idiot!”

The strange voices didn’t seem to make sense. Its like they were talking into a bucket or a can. The voices had that ring of hollowness. Maybe I was dreaming? That’s probably it. I hate when my dreams do that though. I was having this incredible dream, I was in a meadow with her, and the weather was perfect. And it was just getting to the really good parts; I could tell when everything shifted to this… new dream that didn’t make any sense. Maybe if I got more comfortable I could find my way back to that other dream. I turned over and immediately realized I wasn’t dreaming.

There was the sound of paper wrinkling, the fleeting feeling of falling, and then the air knocked from my lungs as I landed on something cold and hard. The strange voices started snickering. Opening my eyes I realized the paper was actually the newspaper that had obviously fallen open over my face when I fell asleep. And the linoleum floor of the airport waiting area was the cold and hard object I’d landed on. Looking up, I realized the voices came from a motley crew gang standing just a few feet away. That was the only word I had for them. There were four of them, each carrying a backpack fairly filled to overflowing, the tallest one towing a luggage cart, each wearing an assortment of miss-matched items of clothing, three of them, all fairly tall, standing slightly behind the shortest one who was appraising me with a set of eagle eyes, color unknown.

Officer: Can you give me a description, height, hair color, eye color?

Me: Tall and short, all various shades of gray and brown.

Oh what a wonderful eyewitness I would make. Who knew color blindness could be so inconveniencing? I half wondered if this strange gang would take pity on me and maybe leave me alone for my handicap? Somehow I doubted that.

I groaned as I pushed myself off the floor acknowledging I was definitely going to have a few bruises from the fall. Why didn’t I call her? Why didn’t I get a hotel room? A taxi? Rent a car? All obvious choices now that I’d had a little sleep.

The short one was talking again. I forced myself to focus.

“Don’t try to play the dumb foreigner with us. You were reading an English newspaper, so I know you understand me. I’m gonna as you again, just what were you doing on our benches?”

It was more of a demand than a question. Someone had obviously never gone through public speaking. I turned and looked at the bench noting it was rather plain, unmarked without any names or symbols of any kind. Turning my gaze back to the band of airport rats I shrugged and said, “There were no names on it.”

I guess the bigger one in the back didn’t like my condescending tone of voice as I noticed him readjust something in his grip. A baggage tie. Seriously? A baggage tie? It was all I could do to not roll my eyes.

Another one spoke, it was the voice that wanted my watch. “Ooh, we have ourselves a Yankee. Aren’t you a little too far from home snowbird?” The other two in the back snickered again, the short one in the front continued to assess me, her hand obviously fidgeting with something in her pocket.

I stretched my arms out only half pretending to stifle a yawn, slipped my hands into my pants pockets and shrugged as I leveled my gaze on the smart-mouthed one. “Well I hear the water is better down here so I thought I’d come have a taste. But I suspect you find the water better down here too, ay?” He still had a touch of a Canadian accent and his eyes narrowed and he took a step forward when I called him on it. The tall one swung the cart around in front of him and the air around me became electrically charged with the tension.

“Alright alright. Settle down.” The short one was saying now, her hands stretched out at her sides as if to hold the others back. The object she was toying with in her pocket now visible, a baggage tie. Now that I looked closely all four of them had these baggage ties clutched in their fingers with a purpose.

Casually I pulled my hands out of my own pockets and raised them about shoulder level in a frozen shrug, a ‘hands in the air’ kind of move usually meant to convey no harm meant and shows hands clear of any weapons. On my right hand I spun my key ring, dangling off one side was the delta wings that I was given as a complementary flight gift off the other end was the laser toy used to annoy… I mean amuse my cats. The key ring spun around my finger like a miniature lop-sided set of nun chucks.

Everyone froze.

The key ring stopped spinning and I held the laser toy in my grasp, hands still half in the air, a casual smile on my lips as I appraised the leader. I’d done nothing more wrong than falling asleep on a public airport bench. The pack of airport rats, trapped in time in some terminal like a bad B movie was not about to oust me. Tomorrow I would see her and be well rested with a harrowing tale of my victory over a vicious gang out to maim me with their deadly baggage ties. My lips curled up in a devilish smile.

“Well, I hope you find the water to your liking.” The short one was talking again as she eyed my laser warily. She took a slow deliberate step backward and lowered her arms, but not putting her hands back into her pockets. “Let go check out Gate A, I saw Johnny’s girl heading that way when we specifically told them that was our Gate after they lost last week.”

The mouthy one started to protest but the short one gave him a look that easily read he shouldn’t question her decision. In unison all four seemed to relax, though not completely dropping their guard, and they shuffled quietly down the wide hall and around the corner, presumably off to Gate A. I caught a few hushed words that sounded like “His bench” and “Laser” and “Crazy”.

Chuckling, I sat back down on the bench no longer tired but craving a hot cup of coffee. Wasn’t there a Starbucks back at one of the corners surrounding the solarium? Grabbing my duffle bag I headed off on a quest for my liquid black gold, key ring in hand just in case.

©2010

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Reason ~In Loving Memory of Thor Bishop~



or copy/paste this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4eajJDtN9M


A love story that transcended time, distance and worlds. Its taken me over two years to be able to start writing about and sharing my memories of Him. We had two amazing years together with enough memories both in Second Life and Real Life to last many lifetimes. With His birthday fast approaching, He would have been 41, thoughts of Him have been prominent in my mind.

This video is for our time spent in Second Life where we met. It was only a bridge to bring us together in the real world. In SL He was known as Thor Bishop. On the air (radio DJ) He was known as Loki. To friends and family He was Teddy Prohinsie. To me He was and always will be my Love, my Bear, my Heart.

i've tried to keep the pictures as chronologically correct as possible.  Most are old snapshops with no, little or very poor photoshop work.  But they are memories.  Our time goes back before flexi, before sculpties, even before "private islands".  Our time crosses an eternity in SL yet seemed so very short.  When i was sorting through pictures i was amazed and the sheer number of pictures i had.  There were far too many to put into one video, even a long video.  But then, many are memories special perhaps to me only.  There are some that i may share here over time with stories to narrate them.  For now, this video says more than any of my words could possible hope to do.

These two songs used in the video were very special songs for us. "Secret Garden" was playing the first time i told Him i loved Him. "The Reason" was the song He sang to me and used as part of His wedding vows to me. For two years i couldn't listen to either of these songs. Only now have i been able. Its taken many tears to put this together. i miss Him still.

~sierra
In loving memory of Thor Biship
4/22/1969 - 10/09/2007

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

eMOTIONS - Closer



eMOTIONS - Closer, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.
Closer is another new release making its debut at Pose Fair 2010. Sometimes no matter how close you get, you still need to get closer. Closer is an all-engaging, wrapped up in you, need to be as close as i can, right now kind of kiss.

A bit of a story behind this pose, if you all will indulge me. Back in the early part of 2006 (no snickering at the old lady here ok) I was lucky enough to meet this amazing man in SL, Thor Bishop. Those of you that know me have undoubtedly heard many stories about Him. Here is one that I've not shared before, atleast not in as much detail. I've always been a very shy person, reserved and private in relationships, and I'm not one to kiss and tell. But this pose is inspired completely by the very first kiss Thor and I shared that week we spent together in late December.

Thor and I met in real life after Christmas of 2006, and from the first moments we knew this was meant to be. I remember standing in front of Him, between His legs as He was sitting, and He was STILL taller than me! That gave Him a good chuckle. I remember when He touched my cheek and told me to "come here". I answered shyly, "I AM here." He placed His hand at the back of my neck and pulled me closer so we were literally nose to nose and winked at me. He had this crooked smile when He said, "No, I mean here."

And then He kissed me.

Any fear, shyness, or doubt that I had vanished. You can laugh all you want, but it was an instantaneous change. In that moment I knew He was all I needed. That first kiss lasted forever, and ended way too soon. We stood there, well HE sat, in the room, the doors wide open to the whole world but completely lost in each other. At some point I remember Him growling. *Laughs* Yeah the big man growled. Grabbed me behind my knees and pulled me up into His lap. I can honestly say it was the most intense, passionate, loving moments I had ever experienced in my life up to that point. And all it was, was a kiss. Just a kiss, but to my heart so much more.

Closer, always needing to be closer. In loving memory of my "Bear", my love, my one.

~sierra sugar~

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Memories in Technicolor


Entwined colorized, originally uploaded by ~sierra sugar~.

Its been a long time since I've written about Thor. Not because I don't think about Him. He is in my thoughts daily. Its just that sometimes it's so hard to put down into words what is still my heart for this man. Sometimes the memories are still too painful. Sometimes missing Him simply overwhelms me to the point that all I can say or think is "i miss Him!" No, thinking about Him is not the problem. Writing about Him and all that He still means to me has always been a problem. Its seems the emotions are just too big for words.

But today I have memories, happy colorful memories of mohawks. Thor's mohawks to be exact. It was a hairstyle He was known for throughout SL. And it was not unusual to see Him with some bright technicolored mohawk. Hot pink, vivid blue, neon purple, red with black tips, green with black streaks, blonde, orange, long, short, soft, spiked.. You name it He had it in a mohawk.

There was this one time when I was out of town for work and He was bored. He conned a friend of our to go shopping with Him. Actually, from what I've been told it was more like He bugged everyone on His friends list until someone took enough pity on Him to "babysit" for a few hours til I was home. Of course, I was just as bad without Him. So, when I finally get home He tells me He has something to show me. A mohawk. The most god-aweful ugly mohawk you can find anywhere. In 80 colors! EIGHTY!!! I didn't know whether to laugh, sigh, or ban Him from shopping without me.

But the mohawk was His thing. I can't say that it defined Him, because Thor was beyond definition. He was outrageous and untamed and not bound by any one iconic definition. Someone once described Him as intimidating. And He was, with His wild mohawks, towering frame, angry tribal tattoos, piercings and dark-tinted sunglasses that hid His eyes from everyone. But once you got past His intimidating presence you realized He was this great big incredibly loving teddy bear. Behind those sun-glasses were the kindest, most loving, understanding blue eyes. Underneath all the tattoos, muscles, piercings, was a heart of pure love and joy. I miss my Bear, still. I miss Him everyday. My once in-a-lifetime love.

~sierra
forever HIS kitty